Chuck was interviewed this week on the Life Coach Path on the differences between counseling and coaching and experiences with nature based coaching. Give it a listen!
The Coach’s Circle Podcast is presented by Life Coach Path, an online educational resource for anyone interested in making a career in coaching or would like to incorporate coaching strategies and techniques in their work helping others. You can read their latest blog post here.
We are continuing to Grow and Offer More Ways to Explore, Heal, and Connect!
In 2020, Inner Life Adventures turns 10 years old! The past 10 years of serving Northern Colorado – Fort Collins, Loveland, Greeley, Cheyenne, and Laramie has been an amazing experience. Hearing so many stories of challenges and growth has shaped me tremendously. I want to thank you for your support in the last decade.
In the book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell suggests that reaching the 10,000-Hour Rule, which he considers the key to success in any field, is simply a matter of practicing a specific task that can be accomplished with 20 hours of work a week for 10 years. I’d argue it also takes self reflection, improving the process, learning new ideas, and getting coaching or guidence. Either way, I’ve learned so much from the experience of serving our community. Knowledge combined with experience is really what creates mastery.
Never content to stay stagnant, in the last decade I’ve continued to train and learn the most cutting edge modalities, as well as some of the oldest and most ancient that modern day has forgotten. In order to offer more non-traditional approaches, I have formed a separate company that offers nature based programs, including retreats, workshops, rites of passage, and connected coaching. This new business is named “Reconnecting to Our Nature.”
Inner Life Adventures will continue as it has, offering mindfulness based somatic counseling psychotherapy. In fact, Inner Life Adventures is growing in 2020 hiring clinicians in line with our mission and values. We’ll be offering more couples and family sessions to help with your relationships and child behaviors. We’ll also be increasing availability so you won’t have to wait weeks or months to get in. I apologize to those who have wanted to get in that I have not had the time for. Hopefully this change will make these services more available to you.
Reconnecting to Our Nature will be growing alongside Inner Life Adventures offering more coaching, retreat, and workshops to help you find your own path to growth and healing. Reconnecting to Our Nature is informed by my training and experience with the nature connected work of School of Lost Borders, 8 Shields, Jungian Psychology, and the initiations, Rites of Passage (such as vision quest), Ritual, and council I’ve experienced through training and apprenticing with men’s organizations and various idiginous elders. Guiding you to become the leader of your own life.
What’s the difference between coaching, counseling, and psychotherapy?
The truth is, the lines are blurry. There’s a lot of overlap with things that both good coaches and therapists do. That’s why there are so many providers out there and a million different answers. One of the biggest differences is the depth of background and experience. Having a deep background and experience matters because that is the source of intuition and creativity for those situations that don’t fit the standard patterns, tools, or templates you can find online. More specifically, here’s what we think and why we created a separate business for coaching and programs.
Counseling and psychotherapy is a regulated profession with specific laws about record keeping, relationship boundaries, scope of practice, confidentiality, etc. Coaching is not regulated, though there are becoming more certifications and professional organizations seeking to standardize and create ethics to keep clients safer. Those are guidelines and not laws. There of course are pro’s and con’s to both approaches. There are many amazing coaches out there, and also many that don’t have the experience or training to really be effective long term. One of the benefits of counselors is you know they have standard training and are bound by the same laws and ethics to get and maintain a license.
One of the drawbacks to a licensed counselor is the pressure from insurance companies and licensing boards on only using evidence based practices such as CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) or DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy). This is especially true if you are utilizing managed care (insurance) who can dictate how many sessions, what diagnosis, and audit your records to ensure the therapist is adhering to their idea of what your care should look like. These approaches work for some people in some situations, but newer research shows the long term effect of CBT is not as strong. It’s a great start, but we are more interested in going deeper to address the core patterns for lasting long term change, not just short term gains that are lost again.
Further, when people try counseling and the first attempt doesn’t work, they blame the counselor or worse blame themselves for not being a good enough client, rather than expand the picture to see what is really happening and what else could be effective. That is where your provider having a broader background and skill set can be more effective. Some of the newer modalities or older nature based modalities don’t have the evidence base as the standard fare, but for the right client can be effective. Our approach is finding the right path for you, not forcing you to the path that research showed worked for a lot of other people. It may work for you, it may not. Utilizing a coach with broad experience and a variety of skills and tools to use with you can help you find the right path for you quicker rather than forcing you into the traditional models.
That said, for some people the structure of predictable weekly hour long sessions, being able to pay less by using insurance, and staying grounded with tried and true practices that have lots of evidence base is exactly what is needed. That is why we are continuing to offer therapy in a professional office setting by licensed professionals. And for those that would rather explore in a more open way with an experienced guide, coaching and nature based work is an option as well. In either approach, it is up to you to decide which path(s) you are wanting and willing to go down. We have the skills and ability to guide you in many different directions. We won’t force you into the direction traveled by most everyone else when something else is calling to you. Together we’ll help you find your unique way, wherever that may lead.
In short, Inner Life Adventures counseling and psychotherapy when what you need is the safety, stability, and structure of professional counseling, in an office, in town. Reconnecting to Our Nature nature based coaching when you are ready to venture off the well worn trails, with a trained and experienced guide, into the wilderness and to learn better how to guide your own life. You don’t know what you will get with any given coach or counselor, but hopefully this guide has given you a few things to think about in making your choice with us, or whatever provider you choose if we are not right for you.
(Men in this context means male/masculine identifying person)
1 month Thursday lunchtime online zoom meeting
March 26 – April 26, 2020. Thursdays @ Noon.
In all my work with men – be it as clients, in men’s groups, close friends, or family, the number one consistent theme that causes the most stress (even with men who have everything else they want) – successful career, hobbies, friendships, etc.), is having successful relationships with women* (women meaning female/feminine identifying person).
If you have have this struggle, (or maybe don’t currently have it, but find yourself in cycles in your relationship where this comes up from time to time) and still haven’t learned how to resolve it, you owe it to yourself and the women in your life to carve out an hour a week to learn how to better relate to the feminine. You probably know how good it feels to be in a healthy, satisfying relationship. And you probably know how bad it feels to be in a poor, unsatisfying, or unhealthy relationship.
This course will empower you to become the skilled and competent leader for healthy relationships in your life and in your romantic partnership.
In this lunchtime online Zoom meeting we will:
Learn losing strategies and winning strategies for healthy relationships
Learn practical relational skills for more connected, peaceful, and rewarding conversations
Learn skills for managing conflict
Learn how to de-escalate when tensions, stress, or anger get high
Learn how to identify and regulate emotions with you and your partner
Begin to identify the relational patterns that cause problems between you and others
Learn how self-esteem, self-care, and how you treat yourself show up in relationship
Be fully present and engaged with mind and body with mindfulness and awareness exercises
Learn the difference between co-dependence, self reliance, and interdependence
Explore healthy sexuality in relationship
Learn to take personal responsibility for what is ours, and set boundaries around what is not
Practice in real time to build skill and confidence in your ability to apply them with women
Relationship is a full contact sport! It takes our full presence, awareness, and training to properly utilize our primary relational tools – our mind, our heart, and our body. There are many great books and podcasts to give you the knowledge you need, but you can’t just read a book or listen to a podcast and know these things and expect to have better relationships. Actually practicing these tools and concepts with other men, giving and receiving feedback, and then utilizing them during the week with your partner will accelerate your learning and skill level. This course is packed with information to help you understand the why, effective tools to implement in your relationship, and it also includes a brief amount of time to practice in the safety of Zoom breakout rooms with other men. If you can communicate using these tools with other men, you can do it with women.
We will become a community of support for you as you learn and apply these tools and concepts. You’ll be given handouts with specific instructions and key ideas each week to ensure you can have the support you need in real time, in your pocket.
Why study relationship skills with me?
I’ve been participating in and leading men’s work for almost a decade, as well as practicing as a psychotherapist. Just as important as my professional experience and credentials, my life experiences as a husband, father, son, brother, and friend and shaped me most, trying and sometimes failing at practicing what I teach. Before becoming a therapist, I was a software engineer who grew up in the south with all of the rules about being a man. Many of them were misguided and not helpful. My world was ruled by logic and reason alone. I was involved with lots of groups, I played sports, studied martial arts, and was smart and successful, but I struggled with relationships. Nobody taught me how to relate effectively and how to have the courage and strength I needed to be honest with myself and others. I understand the world of men and talking to men about relationships can be different than talking to women. I’ve studied the best authors, researchers, and practitioners in the field such as the Gottmans, Relational Life Therapy with Terry Real, Ester Perel, Emotionally Focused Therapy, as well as the most important relationship topics such as attachment, somatic trauma work, sex therapy. In addition to all the theoretical knowledge, studying finely attuned somatic psychotherapy such as Hakomi and IFS as well as very somatic and non verbal forms of martial arts, jiu-jitsu, and dance have taught me even more about the dance between direct assertiveness and receptive attunement. Even with this breadth of knowledge and understanding, there are still days where I struggle and get tripped up, just like anyone else. Having references, ongoing support, and accountability to using these tools is essential when we stumble. So I’ve taken the best tools from these experts, translated them into real life applications and created this course so you get to be your authentic self. You won’t sound like you are communicating from a script, you will be honest and authentic, and you can immediately use these ideas and tools to shift your stance, become your own leader, and improve the way that you relate with women so you can get started right away with healthier relationships.
I’ll show you how to live and embody a strong masculine relational stance – one that is wise, compassionate, active, effective, open, receptive, and can handle anything that comes your way.
Investment of Your Time and Money
This course is designed for anyone to use their one hour lunch break, once a week, for one month from the convenience of their phone or computer to skyrocket their relational skills. No travel time. No excuses.
$50 per session. 1 hour per week. 4 week commitment.
However, if you haven’t decided your skills and relationship are worth the investment, here’s how I’ll make it even more worth your while:
Sign up by March 2nd and pay only $40 per session
Attend and participate in all 4 sessions so I know you have the built the foundation, have the necessary background information and you are invested in your relational life, and you will be invited to attend a free bonus meeting where I’ll answer your questions, go into further depth of any topic covered, and provide coaching about a specific relationship issue you have, if you choose.
If you are ready to commit to improving your relationship skills for yourself and your partner, sign up by March 2nd and for only $160 you will get 5 weeks of instruction and an opportunity to get direct coaching and feedback on a relationship issue you are facing. This brings your cost to only $32 per group! Consider that is a 5 hour program for the price of ONE individual therapy or coaching session.
If you are hesitant or late to commit, don’t worry. You can still get all 5 sessions for $200. Still a great deal! You, your partner, your relationship, and your life satisfaction are worth it.
Course Outline
March 26 – April 26, 2020. Thursdays @ Noon.
Week 1
Setting the Foundation
Communication Basics
Healthy Interdependence vs Codependence, enmeshment, or self-reliance
What is Your Relationship Dream?
Practice and Homework
Week 2
Creating Safe Secure Relationships (as opposed to anxious, avoidant, or distant relationships)
De-escalating conflict and stressful conversations
Emotional Intelligence
Practice and Homework
Week 3
Turning Up The Heat – Appropriately, Skillfully, and Wisely
Giving and Receiving Feedback
Getting What You Want, Getting What You Need
Male Sexuality and Pornography in Relationship
Practice and Homework
Week 4
Bigger Picture and Moving Forward
Repairing After a Regrettable Incident
Self Leadership and Relational Leadership – Achieving Balance in Thinking, Feeling, Being, and Doing
Practice and Homework
Week 5 * (Bonus for those who engaged and participated in all 4 prior sessions)
Review and Diving Deeper With Previous Topics
Questions and Discussion
Live Coaching on Your Personal Situation Challenge
These are just the highlights and main themes of the course. You can be assured we will pack much more into each hour we spend together. If you are not convinced you need this, ask your partner and get their feedback. Or if you have a specific need or question about the course, reach out to [email protected].
Registration and Preparation
When you are ready to commit, there are four steps to take:
Be sure you have reserved 12:00 MST on your calendar for the meeting dates. We will start and end on time. There is a lot of material to cover, so be sure you arrive on time with your technology ready to go.
I look forward to connecting with you and learning how to be a stronger, more relational man together.
Facilitated by: Chuck Hancock, M.Ed., LPC, EMDR II. Chuck has over 9 years experience participating in and leading men’s groups, experiential groups, therapy groups, wilderness groups, interpersonal process groups, ritual and rites of passage programs, and teaching college courses. Chuck is highly trained in treating trauma, mindfulness, somatic therapy, and is a member of Colorado Group Psychotherapy Society and a perpetual student of intrapersonal and interpersonal relationship patterns.
Download a printable flyer below to share with someone who could use this course.
This time of year is a great time to reflect on the year past and set intentions and plan for the year to come. Looking beyond the simplistic new year resolutions that most people break, this non-profit from Hungary has put together a fantastic booklet to guide your process.
How Leave No Trace (LNT) Camping Ethics Apply to Your Shame and Pain
Yes, you read that right! Scatter your shame and pain, intentionally! What have you been doing with your shame and pain? If you are like most people, you hide it, deny it, or perhaps unload it on one best friend or your romantic partner. But the problem with that is it comes out sideways, when you least expect it. Or it stagnates and rots inside you. Or you overburden your best friend or partner expecting too much. So what do you do about it?
In LNT principles, you minimize your impact on our environment by scattering cool ashes and scattering your strained dishwater. Why? You pack out trash, but you don’t want to carry dead organic material from the past with you. That is best left to return to the earth to be broken down and fertilize the next generations of life And leaving a pile of waste is an eyesore, attracts animals, and over-taxes one spot. Especially if you leave food scraps in a pile, it will decompose and stink.
Pain and shame is a natural organic human experience. Just like the lifecycle represented with food and ashes. Our emotional “yucky stuff” needs to be handled just like physical “yucky stuff.” It can’t be ignored, don’t let it accumulate, don’t leave it for others to deal with. Give it a proper treatment by straining out the big bits, and dispersing the small pieces where they don’t cause harm and in some cases can even nourish other forms of life.
Shame and vulnerability researcher Dr. Brene Brown advises that we handle these feelings just like we strain our dishwater or separate ashes from incompletely burned charred firewood. First separate what you do from who you are. You may have done something you regret, but it doesn’t mean you are bad. Guilt is feeling bad about what you did, which can be a healthy emotion that causes a change in behavior. Shame is saying who you are is bad. This is destructive and causes future harm, to yourself obviously, but to others in your life as well. Shamed people shame people. Don’t allow your shame to fester, rot, or accumulate or it will impact others by you shaming or judging them.
After we strain our dishwater or cool our ashes, we spread them so we don’t concentrate them in one spot. The next step of dealing with shame or pain is the same. Find lots of people who can share a little bit of your story. Shame lives in secrecy. The best way to free yourself of shame or pain is to shed light on it rather than hide it. Unloading everything on one person can be too much. But by having good friends, a partner, family, a support group, a therapist and/or therapy group, etc you can share appropriate parts with trustworthy people, eventually freeing yourself of the burden, while not overtaxing one person.
Doing what I do, I am exposed to the pain, shame, and trauma of lots of people. And of course I’m human too and create plenty of my own! I’m trained to work with these hazardous feelings and am better equipped than your average friend, but even I can’t hold that myself. And you too may have experienced more than your fair share of “yucky stuff,” so this tip can apply to you too. Over the years of doing therapy, I’ve assembled my own pain dispersal system. I have my own therapist, a men’s group, mentor(s), a peer consultation group, and several good male and female friends, a great relationship with my romantic partner, and spiritual practices and rituals that I can share and disperse my own pain and “yucky stuff” with. Due to confidentiality, I obviously can’t and don’t talk about other people’s details, but I certainly can talk about my own pain and how I am impacted by what I experience in my life. Often that is a better way to connect anyhow. People don’t always need to know the details, and often can’t even relate to your specific experience, but everyone can connect and empathize with the feelings you have. Get to the point, get real, and connect on your shared emotional human experience. And assemble a your own personal tribe of people so each person can handle a little bit, and nobody gets overburdened, especially the people closest to you.
When you don’t own your story, your story owns you. When you own your story, you are free to edit and re-author it any way you choose. When you don’t own your story, it controls your feelings and behaviors, often perpetuating the shame and pain. When you own your guilt, shame, or pain and spread it intentionally, it doesn’t harm you or anyone else. In fact, sometimes it can be a gift to teach others from your experience. But when you hold it, deny it, or repress it, it rots and overburdens you. It gets worse and will get spread unconsciously and possibly cause more harm to you and others in your life. With great circle of trustworthy people you can be real and vulnerable with, you can unburden yourself, without burdening others to free yourself up to write the next chapter of your life with more joy and ease. Spread it! Carefully and intentionally.
Chuck Hancock, M.Ed, LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of CO. He has completed comprehensive training in the Hakomi Method of Experiential Psychotherapy, a mindfulness mind-body centered approach. Chuck guides individuals and groups in self-exploration providing them with insight and tools for change. He also incorporates nature as a therapy tool to help shift perspective and inspire new patterns.
This fall we are moving offices to have a larger space and putting a larger emphasis on group offerings. Here’s why:
1) In the seven years I’ve been in practice, I’ve been aware that the quality of relationships we have with people in our life is a very important component to health. Many complaints people bring to therapy are problems in relationship, or lack of relationships like feeling lonely, disconnected, isolated. While we can and do work on this in individual sessions, getting real time feedback from a variety of people with a variety of perspectives can be helpful to see your own part of the relationship challenge. Note that feedback is not the same as advice. Support groups and friends give advice. Expertly facilitated groups empower you to learn for yourself in real time through seeing others, getting reflections of how you are showing up, and seeing yourself more clearly through the guidance of the facilitator.
2) Many of us have been hurt in relationship with other people. Most often these come intentionally or unintentionally from parents, siblings, friends, romantic partners, co-workers, bullies, teachers, etc. A safely facilitated group provides opportunities to repair these wounds and have new experiences that were not possible with the people who harmed you in the first place.
3) Expanding further on the last point, through mutual agreements, we create a group of equally valuable and empowered people that you can learn to trust, and who can hold you and support you in whatever you are working through. Having a safe place to be fully yourself, in both your greatness and your challenges and being witnessed in your growth by multiple people who can understand you can create change that is much more powerful and sustainable than individual therapy with a professional alone. There has been much talk about community in recent years. And yet many groups fall short of creating a safe place where people can feel like they belong. A well facilitated group will give you a safe accepting community to be authentic and be challenged and supported to help you grow quickly.
4) I’ve been both a member of and led thousands of hours of groups. Before studying facilitation and group dynamics as I have, I thought groups were usually either scary or boring. After all the years I have been learning about groups, I love facilitating them now because there is always so much happening to work with. There is always something to learn! I utilize a blend of process made more transparent with mindfulness activities as well as bringing experiential dynamic exercises to help deepen awareness around how the patterns showing up now got created, and have been played out numerous times in your life, so that you can finally move past them and engage with life differently.
5) Lastly, group rates also tend to be lower than individual rates so in addition to being more powerful, groups are also more cost effective. If you are just looking for growth, a group alone may be what you need. Many people benefit from having both a group session and then an individual session to be able to process the group one on one and learn strategies to get the most out of groups. Either way, your experience and growth will be enhanced with a group.
If this sounds like it could be helpful, but you are still hesitant to join a group, give me a call and let’s discuss more. Everyone is welcome in whatever state they are in. Even if you are more of a withdrawn, shy, or introverted person, you will still benefit from attending, sharing minimally, and watching others doing their work. You can participate more when the time is right for you.
Here are the groups currently being offered. Currently the Men’s group only has 2 openings and the Adolescent group has a few. Contact me today to see which one will be most beneficial for you.
Men’s Group
Come join with other men to explore your life and deepen your relationships. This group is for all adult men to gain additional support and feedback through interpersonal process and experiential exercises. Men are able to bring challenges, fears, doubts, questions, and learn by supporting others while being challenged and supported themselves. All topics and goals are welcome. Common themes are anger, depression, anxiety, personal identity, relationships, assertiveness, sex/sexuality/sexual orientation, disconnect from emotions, work problems, fatherhood, confidence/self-esteem, accountability, honesty, spirituality, and finding purpose and meaning in life. This group meets Tuesday evenings from 5-6:30. For more information, call Chuck today to see how this group can help you. 970-556-4095 or email [email protected].
Outside->In
Outside->In for Adolescents
This group provides teens with a place to discover and be their authentic selves and gain support from peers in a healthy expertly facilitated natural environment. Participants share, learn, and grow past current problems through nature and healthy relationship. We meet outdoors and utilize a blend of process, fun and adventure activities, hiking, mindfulness, and more. Find out more here.
Outside->In for Adults
A new offering by popular request! This group while similar to the long running adolescent group will focus more on slowing down with mindfulness, introspection, intuition, and creativity. We will utilize the process of council, mindfulness, movement, group and solo time in nature, and guided activities and ritual to deepen in connection to self, others, and the natural world. This group will surprise, challenge, and rejuvenate all who participate. Great for professionals, teachers, parents, and anyone looking to de-stress and refresh with nature. In addition to the weekly offering, stay tuned for day and weekend long programs to follow throughout the year. For more information, call Chuck today to see how this group can help you. 970-556-4095 or email [email protected].
Mixed Gender Process Groups
What is a Process Group?
Groups are a powerful tool for growth and change. The power of process groups lies in the unique opportunity to receive multiple perspectives, support, encouragement and feedback from other individuals in safe and confidential environment. In addition, we utilize contemplative practices to help you gain more self awareness. These interactions can provide group members an opportunity to deepen their level of self-awareness and to learn how they relate to others.
Process groups are typically unstructured. There isn’t a specific topic for each group session, but some of the groups may be focused on a particular theme or the group may be target to specific group of individuals. Members are welcome to bring any issues to the group that they feel are important, and the primary focus of therapy in the group is not on the story, but on the interactions among group members in the present moment. Groups meet once per week for 1 1/2 hours.
Who can benefit from a Process Group?
As mentioned above, group therapy is a powerful tool for growth and change. As such, virtually everybody looking to change something about themselves or how they relate to others can benefit from the unique environment created in a process group. Process groups are especially beneficial for people who struggle with relationships with friends, family, co-workers, lovers, depression, anxiety, grief/loss, anger, or self-esteem.
Workshops and Special Programs
In addition to ongoing groups, we offer a variety of special educational and experiential workshops and programs throughout the year. Many of these are connected to the nature based Outside-In program. Be sure to follow our Facebook page so you will know about upcoming offerings.
After 6 great years in the historic Stover Mansion, it’s time to grow. The biggest reason is that I am expanding my group offerings and I need more space to offer more groups and work more comfortably with couples and families. And I will be joining one of the oldest and experienced collaborative group of therapists in Fort Collins, allowing me to be more supported and continue to grow and collaborate with a great team and serve you better. I will however still be an independent organization, still be called Inner Life Adventures, and most importantly still be me.
I wanted to give you ample notice to help you prepare for the change and give you time to discuss and ask anything you need to know about this move.
The new space is in the Drake Professional Park which is centrally located just west of College Ave, across the street from the CSU Vet Hospital and right next to Cuppy’s Coffee shop. You can get in and out of the office park easily from the traffic light on Redwing Rd. There are also a few entrances directly off of Drake Rd. It is also easily accessible by the MAX transit route.
The new office will be larger, in a suite of offices with other practitioners, with a larger waiting area privately behind a closed door. It is also quieter, has more windows, and overlooks lots of trees.
The other practitioners in the group who will be in the same office suite are: Raina Denmark, PhD, Lauren Maples, PhD, Paul McClure, MS, and Aaron Meng, MD.
The address is:
343 West Drake Road
Suite 200
Fort Collins, CO 80526
There is much more parking available here. To find my office, go in the front door of the 343 building. You’ll find it where the arrow points below. Go upstairs or take the elevator. From the top of the stairs go to your right and Suite 200 is the first door on your left. You can help yourself to water and tea in the waiting area. I’ll find you there when it is time for your appointment. Please allow a few extra minutes for you to find the new space your first time there. All appointments will be held in this new space starting November 1, 2017.
Let me know if you have any questions or concerns so we can discuss ahead of time. I look forward to continuing to serve you in this new space!
Summary of research and a few exercises you can use
I don’t use the word should very often. It’s a dirty word. And who am I to tell anyone they should do anything? But I will right now: you should get outside more! And it’s not just me saying this, it’s science!
I’ve long been a lover of the outdoors participating in numerous sports and other outdoor activities over the course of my life. However it was about 10 years ago when I was on a 4 day backpacking trip with a self admitted stress-loving over-working friend of mine that I first caught a glimpse of the true power of the wilderness beyond being just a venue for recreation. It was on this trip that I solidified my decision to go back to grad school to become a counselor because I wanted to help people get to the place of openness, self-exploration, relaxation, and motivation that I saw in my friend that day. I’ve learned a lot of skills and tools over the years, but none have been as good as nature to get the effects I saw that trip.
One of my biggest fears is being judged, so I’ve only dipped my toe in the outdoor therapy world until this point. The last thing I want to be judged as is a long haired tree hugging hippy who takes people into the woods to reconnect with nature with drum circles to find their lost soul (Not that there is anything wrong with any of that – I’ve done them all and they are great! You may consider trying those things too 😉 ). But I know that scene is repulsive to some people so I’ve purposely stayed away from it professionally, because I know that sometimes people who are afraid to drop their guard enough to try something that far out of their comfort zone can be the people that need the power of the outdoors most.
So lately, I’ve been excited to find that more research is being done to understand what effects being outside does have on our minds and bodies. In this recent National Geographic article, the author does a great job summarizing the results of international research from the past few years. I still recommend reading it, but here are some of the main research points if you don’t have time.
Scroll down to the bold print to skip the research and get right to the exercise.
Being outside helps your brain take a break from it’s constant use. This can reduce stress, increase creativity, and produce a difference in qualitative thinking. We think it lets the pre-frontal cortex unplug for a bit (the part of our brain in charge of cognitive function, rational thought, planning, personality, social expression,
inhibitions, decision making, executive functioning, and more.) The most pronounced changes happens after being outside for 3 days.
But even a 15-minute walk in the woods causes measurable changes in physiology. Japanese researchers at Chiba University sent 84 subjects to stroll in seven different forests, while the same number of volunteers walked around city centers. The forest walkers hit a relaxation jackpot: Overall they showed a 16 percent decrease in the stress hormone cortisol, a 2 percent drop in blood pressure, and a 4 percent drop in heart rate. Researcher Miyazaki believes our bodies relax in pleasant, natural surroundings because they evolved there. Our senses are adapted to interpret information about plants and streams, he says, not traffic and high-rises.
The South Koreans have been doing research on the impact of work stress, long hours, digital addiction, and academic pressures. They are now devoting some forests as healing centers and prescribing time in nature to help combat these maladies. They have research that shows forest healing reduces medical costs
Several unrelated studies in England, Denmark, Canada, and Scotland all showed lower mortality, fewer stress hormones, less mental distress and lower incidence of 15 diseases including depression, anxiety, heart disease, diabetes, asthma, and migraines even when adjusted for confounding variables. That is levels of income, education, employment, and exercise did not effect the data. Just living near green space made a difference. If anything, lower income people seemed to benefit the most.
“In Finland, a country that struggles with high rates of depression, alcoholism, and suicide, government-funded researchers asked thousands of people to rate their moods and stress levels after visiting both natural and urban areas. Based on that study and others, Professor Liisa Tyrväinen and her team at the Natural Resources Institute Finland recommend a minimum nature dose of five hours a month—several short visits a week—to ward off the blues. “A 40- to 50-minute walk seems to be enough for physiological changes and mood changes and probably for attention,” says Kalevi Korpela, a professor of psychology at the University of Tampere. He has helped design a half dozen “power trails” that encourage walking, mindfulness, and reflection. Signs on them say things like, “Squat down and touch a plant.””
“Korean researchers used functional MRI to watch brain activity in people viewing different images. When the volunteers were looking at urban scenes, their brains showed more blood flow in the amygdala, which processes fear and anxiety. In contrast, the natural scenes lit up the anterior cingulate and the insula—areas associated with empathy and altruism. It may also make us nicer to ourselves. Stanford researcher Greg Bratman and his colleagues scanned the brains of 38 volunteers before and after they walked for 90 minutes, either in a large park or on a busy street in downtown Palo Alto. The nature walkers, but not the city walkers, showed decreased activity in the subgenual prefrontal cortex—a part of the brain tied to depressive rumination—and from their own reports, the nature walkers beat themselves up less.”
And the nature you visit doesn’t have to be in a wilderness area and it doesn’t just affect mood. Another study showed a 50-minute walk in an arboretum improved executive attention skills, such as short-term memory, while walking along a city street did not. “Imagine a therapy that had no known side effects, was readily available, and could improve your cognitive functioning at zero cost,” the researchers wrote in their paper. It exists, they continued, and it’s called “interacting with nature.”
To summarize, there is research that suggests viewing and/or being in nature can reduce stress, reduce disease (including depression, anxiety, heart disease, diabetes, asthma, and migraines), decrease blood pressure and heart rate, improve attention, improve mood, increase empathy and altruism, increase creativity, decrease depressive rumination, and while I haven’t seen research that supports this, my experience is that most people tend to enjoy themselves and have a good time. Not bad for something that is free.
So like I said earlier, you really should get outside more. Just getting outside can help. Do it regularly, do it often, and at least once in a while, go for longer periods of time. If you want to make your time outside even more restorative and connecting, here’s a few tips and tools I’ve learned from personal observation that can enhance your experience.
Disconnect from time. If you have a time limit, set a timer or alarm for 1/2 the amount of time you are willing to give to this experience. When this sounds, you will need to turn around and make your way back. Until then, don’t worry about time, your timer will tell you when you need to head back. Let yourself be fully present to the natural environment.
Mark your transition from your urban/suburban/societal/structured/scheduled life into the natural world. When you leave the parking lot, sidewalk, building, etc and enter into natural space, make a mental note that you are shifting from one way of being into another. At this point, be sure your phone is on silent, your to-do list is put away, your calendar holds your obligations, and anything that is taking mental space is put on hold for the duration of your journey.If necessary, physically stop and mentally put down stresses, issues, people, thoughts, feelings, responsibilities, or anything currently bothering you that could get in the way of you being present with the natural world. Imagine a container to hold them and/or put them near a rock, tree, or entrance and leave them there. You can pick them up again on your way out (if you want).
If there is something you are pondering or something is really bothering you and you would be open to letting your creative subconscious mind work on it for you, set an intention or ask a question as you enter this space. Then drop it. Notice what you notice (see below) while you are in the natural environment, and maybe there will be some insight into your situation. Or maybe not, but it doesn’t hurt to try.
Come back to your senses! Just notice what you notice. When in natural space, let your analytical mind take a break and instead focus on your senses. What do you sense outside of you with your sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch? What do you notice in your body as you move? What do you notice in your emotional and
energetic state? What thoughts pop into your mind automatically? Just notice what you notice, then notice something else. Over and over again while you are there.
Let your curiosity awaken. What do your eyes get drawn to? What sounds do you hear? What made them? Don’t worry about right and wrong or really knowing the answer. Just be curious. Which direction will you head? Let your curiosity and intuition be your guide. When you find something interesting, stop and study it with all your senses. What will you discover? I’m getting excited for you!
When it is time to leave, before you leave the space pause for a minute or two and reflect on all that you noticed. Offer thanks to yourself for letting yourself have the time and thanks to the space and any creatures, insights, or special moments that presented themselves.
Bring the experience back into your ordinary life. Write about your experience and/or tell somebody that will just listen. Let these questions guide you: What happened here? (Recount as much as you can) What did you learn from it? What are the bigger picture deeper lessons? How can it inform my life? How did this time outside help me?
So there you go. Get outside. Deepen in your relationship with yourself and with the natural world. Do this with a friend or family member and deepen in your relationship with them. If you have questions or would like to share your experience with this exercise, I’d love to hear from you. Email me at [email protected]. Hope to see you outside!
Chuck Hancock, M.Ed, LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of CO. He has completed comprehensive training in the Hakomi Method of Experiential Psychotherapy, a mindfulness mind-body centered approach. Chuck guides individuals and groups in self-exploration providing them with insight and tools for change. He also incorporates nature as a therapy tool to help shift perspective and inspire new patterns.
Is your analytic brain still not convinced? Here are links to more articles and research.
Hartig, T., Mang, M., and Evans, G. (1991). Restorative effects of natural environment experiences. Environment and behavior , 23 (1), 3-26.
Kaplan, R. and Kaplan, S. (1989). The Experience of nature . Cambridge Press.
Kaplan. S. and Talbot, J. (1983). Psychological benefits of a wilderness experience. In Altman, I. and Wohlwill, (Eds.), Behavior and the natural environment . New York: Plenum Press.
Turner, V. (1969). The ritual process . Chicago: Aldine.
Ulrich, R. S. et al. (1991). Stress recovery during exposure to natural and urban environments. Journal of environmental psychology , 11 (3), 201-230.
Do you know of a good study not cited here? Please send it my way. I’m collecting good empirical support to make time in nature an “Evidence Based Practice.”
“The body has experience, the mind interprets experience, the environment stimulates experience.” ~Ron Kurtz
Hierarchy of Experience – Exploring the Mind-Body Connection
In our lives, most of us get locked in to one channel – thoughts and language. However, when we want to break out of what we know, and what we have always been doing, it is helpful to move into the realm of the unconscious. To do that, we have to engage with other channels to gather new information. I love working with clients who have tried therapy with other therapists that engage only in talk and leave thinking therapy doesn’t work, but are still motivated to create change in their lives. If you are ready to move beyond talk into deeper experience, here are some more paths to explore.
In a simplified representation of the brain, we can see other parts of the brain hold information and patterns that are also beneficial to access in therapy.
Reptilian Brain – Brain Stem and lower brain components – basic survival and life support functions like breathing, heart rate, digestion, movement, fight/flight/freeze response. Many shared structures with reptiles and animals. Animal Brain – Midbrain – Limbic system/emotional/relational systems. Passes and filters information between body/sensory information, brain stem, and rational thinking brain. Human Brain – Cerebral Cortex – especially Frontal Lobe. Top and most recent area of our brain to evolve. What makes us humans unique. Responsible for thought, language, meaning, logic, sequencing, right/wrong.
Standard talk or cognitive behavioral therapy only engages with the conscious, primarily the frontal lobe. This is effective in some cases, but not all information is accessible through logic and words. Engaging with other information sources we access other parts of the brain, which gives us access to deeper patterns, memories, and unconscious material.
The main channels we explore in somatic psychotherapy are:
Thoughts – words, narrative, internal dialog, automatic voices, etc. Information comes from the frontal lobes and left hemisphere primarily.
Tensions/Impulses – Places our body is tight, holding, posture, desires to move in some way that are inhibited. Information comes from basal ganglia, and hypothalamus.
Sensations in the Body – Can take many forms. Pain, sore, tender, energetic, shapes, temperatures, colors, walls, etc. Information comes from limbic system.
Emotions – Sadness, joy, anger, fear, etc. Information comes from limbic system, especially amygdala.
Memories – Past events which shape our beliefs and learning. Information from hippocampus, amygdala, cortex, and other sensory centers (visual, auditory, olfactory, movement, sensation, etc.)
Meaning – The lessons you learned from memories and experiences and what is important about it.
Core Beliefs – Patterns and rules we develop implicitly and explicitly about our world which guide present behavior and experience. Information comes from many parts, especially limbic system, needs to be reconnected with cerebral cortex to bring awareness and choice.
By studying and gathering information in all of these layers, we can gain access to the deeper patterns that lay outside of our conscious awareness which we miss only engaging in talk. Then we start to become more aware of:
Strategies – How we organize (mostly unconsciously) our behavior, relationships, thoughts, expression, inhibitions, and more. Often a result of attempts to get our needs met, despite having the experiences, rules, and beliefs we do.
Healing Relationship
We explore these sources of information and experience in the context of relationship. We can gather some of this information on our own, but we need an environment and human relationship to stir the pot. If we are limited to only self-exploration, we are staying within the system and existing patterns. Having a human relationship helps us explore the places we wouldn’t normally go on our own. And even more importantly, provides a non-judgmental, kind, loving, accepting relationship to help us heal the tender and sensitive parts of us. And having this experience helps teach us how to have a more kind, non-judgmental, loving, accepting relationship with ourselves.
My goal is to help people reconnect first to themselves; to their own heart, mind, and body. Then reconnect to people in their lives. Then eventually reconnect to the larger world in all of its complex systems in a more healthy way. When people can feel what real connection feels like, then they can bring that connection back to their families and friends. Once people have felt true connection, they don’t want to settle for anything less. When we restore connection, we restore hope.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is simply awareness of present moment experiences with an attitude of acceptance, curiosity, and the ability to stay without needing anything to change. The ability to stay with discomfort, witness it, and learn from it. Mindfulness in therapy serves us in several ways. Primarily, it helps us to lower the noise inside and become more sensitive to what our systems are already communicating. Just as important, is the ability to witness, not identify with the patterns, thoughts, emotions, and sensations we see. Mindfulness expands the container. We are not our patterns, but it feels like that when we don’t have the big picture view that comes with mindfulness.
Mindfulness in psychotherapy is NOT to help us relax and feel better, to fix things, to make anything go away. This is often a side-effect that happens over time, but seeking to relax and feel better immediately can result in building new walls and closing down to important information. Our goal is to open to what is there, work with it, learn from it, heal it, and transform our relationship to it so that it is not running the show unconsciously anymore.
Sensitivity Cycle – A process map
One of the maps I use to help guide people through growth and change is the Sensitivity Cycle. It helps us to understand what is missing, and what needs to happen next. It is called the Sensitivity Cycle, because following it through once completes one cycle of change. Following it through many iterations leads to deeper self-knowledge and increasing sensitivity to ones patterns.
First we need information/insight. What is this? Why is it important? Where does it show up? (It is important to not this is the first step – not the last or only step.)
Next we need to be able to take action based on that information. We need an experience. Knowing this, how do I respond well? How do I cope, express, master?
Next we need to be able to be satisfied with our action. How do I be content, nourished, accepting, fulfilled?
Finally we need to be able to relax and feel complete. Can I rest, trust, integrate, be at peace?
This process is actually a circle, or spiral. It repeats, indefinitely through many layers as the relationship deepens. We can experience this cycle in many micro and macro levels, but when we look closely, we see we often get stuck at one point in the cycle. But when we can move through all of these steps well, we spiral into deeper knowledge and long lasting changes of our patterns.
Chuck Hancock, M.Ed, LPC is a National Certified Counselor, Licensed Professional Counselor, and a Registered Psychotherapist in the state of CO. He has completed comprehensive training in the Hakomi Method of Experiential Psychotherapy, a mindfulness mind-body centered approach. Chuck guides individuals and groups in self-exploration providing them with insight and tools for change. He also incorporates nature as a therapy tool to help shift perspective and inspire new patterns.
Here is my latest article on relationships which was published in the spring edition of Yoga Connection magazine.
Last time I wrote about expanding our definition of relationship to look at our relationship with everyone and everything. Through doing this and creating true intimacy in our relationships with ourselves, others, and everything – we are more able to clearly see ourselves and grow. (If you missed it, you can find it on my website below.) In this piece, I want to focus now on a single aspect of intimate relationship that can trap us and limit our ability to be healthy and grow: commitment. And before you turn the page thinking this doesn’t apply to you because you don’t have a partner or think you already have commitment, remember, we have a relationship (and commitment) with everything, so this applies to our jobs, meditation, yoga, fitness, spiritual practice and more.
When I look up commitment in the thesaurus I see it is associated with words like liability, must, need, and ought. Yuck! In Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) it’s well known that if you throw “should” in there too you’ve got the perfect recipe for unrealistic expectations, cognitive distortions, guilt, and plenty of negative self-talk. Actually, nothing should, ought, or must be any particular way other than what it is. In one of my favorite quotes Virginia Satir says, “Life is not what it’s supposed to be. It’s what it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.” So we want to eliminate words like “should” and “must” from or vocabulary, but does that mean we also throw away commitment?
One way we may view commitment is as a static, permanent obligation. We assume once we commit to a relationship, be it a partnered relationship, a job, or a practice, that it will always be there, as long as we conform to another’s expectations, we will be fine and the relationship will last. This leads to the implicit contract of dependence that many of us have with our partner or employer. When we buy into the illusion of permanence, we have a false sense of comfort and security and our relationship can become dull, lifeless, and confining. Even good relationships that bring us joy can grow dull and lifeless when we depend on them. And when the relationship goes away, it can leave us struggling to find ground.
The reality is that the relationship will end at some point. We will die, the job will change, our once abled body will not always be, and if we don’t keep working toward intimacy and deeper relationship with our partner or friend it will grow flat and the other person may want to leave. The same is true with the relationship to our jobs, if we don’t show up authentically, speak our truth, and keep growing, it grows stale. It is easy to assume the vows we make and the paper we sign somehow protect us from change and guarantee that our partner will always be there for us. It will end one day, it will not always be there, so why would we just rest on the false sense of security of a paper commitment? By living with the reality of impermanence, we are able to live more fully co-creating the relationship we want.
Everything about us, within as well as without -our relationships, our thoughts, our feelings- is impermanent, in a constant state of flux. Being aware of this, the mind craves permanency… There is only one fact: impermanence. J. Krishnamurti, The Book of Life
It is not the relationship or commitment that is the problem, it is our depending on or clinging to it and the fear of it ending that keeps us from fully expressing ourselves and bringing life to the relationship. When we are dependent on the other and fear that it will end and we conform to what we think the other wants, we are cutting ourselves off from our life force. We are selling ourselves short, living in fear and not bringing our full self to the relationship. We are depriving ourselves and our partner of our best.
But how to you commit to something that is guaranteed to end? It is actually easier if we remember that we can count on nothing to be there tomorrow, and that is true for everything so we may as well not hold on to false expectations. When remind ourselves that it will end one day, it is a good reminder to bring our best energy to the relationship now. Any commitment not alive in the present moment is based on living in the past or wanting security in the future.
Really, the only thing we can commit to is being fully in relationship right now in each moment, to deepening in our relationship, to growth and understanding and to speaking our truth of the moment, knowing full well we could be wrong or it may change. By committing to be honest with ourselves and honest with the other in relationship, we are able to truly see where we are, we can work with it, and we can grow. The other part of commitment is being present and being willing to hear our partner’s truth, and be okay when it changes too.
True commitment helps us to trust and stick it out a little longer; even when our relationship partner’s current truth is a little hard to hear. With true commitment, we practice unconditional acceptance of ourselves and our partner, for who they are, where they are, right now. And not having an expectation that we or our partner will do this for us perfectly every day, they are human just like us.
As we grow and change, we are bound to do so in ways that are difficult for our partner. If we have no commitment, most of us find it easier to just leave. So having commitment can help us to feel safer to speak our truth and grow together, knowing your partner will be willing to hear you out and not just bolt out the door. Even those of us that are “happily married” probably have never defined our commitment in these terms, rather we choose to avoid conflict to keep the peace. But the price for this false peace is the deeper connection, love, and growth that is possible in authentic relationship.
You could have this level of commitment in any relationship. This type of honesty is more likely with a friendship, because the risk is lower if they walk away. If you’ve had any good lifelong friends, you’ve probably been through so many conflicts and deepened in your relationship you don’t need to fear them leaving you because you know you’ve done it before. Speaking your truth can lead to conflict, which when met with commitment to relationship and understanding, can be worked though creating deeper healthier relationship.
When we are committed, we send the message to our self, our job, our friend, our partner that “I’ll be there for you,” which creates safety for us and the other person to be real and honest. When we feel safe enough to take the risk to speak our truth in that moment, we open ourselves up to really see our beliefs and patterns and then when we see them clearly, we can actually change. We can improve our relationship with ourself, with our friends, our partners, our job, and with life.
Commitment takes constant renewal and questioning. Why am I doing this? Is what I’m doing leading me closer to this purpose? What is my desire? Commitment made once and depended on like a crutch is a trap and it grows old and stale. Commitment can only be made in each moment, and when it is approached like this it is alive and fresh and becomes fuel and passion.
“When you truly embrace your human impermanence you connect with the power you have, and influence you have, over the time you have.”―Steve Maraboli
If everything is impermanent, what can we commit to? Showing up fully in the present moment and giving fully of ourselves, speaking our truth. Recently I was a participant in a men’s group and in an exercise, I told a man I just met 10 seconds prior I could see his sensitivity and fear. His eyes watered. It was true for me in the moment, but did I go too far? I was scared to be that honest with a man I don’t know, but I took the risk to share honestly. In the next part of the exercise, the receiver was to share the impact it had. He shared that it felt like a gift, given to him for no real reason.
Show up fully, and give your truth, give your full self in each moment, and accept yourself and your partner in this truth. Commitment is a gift to ourself and others in our lives. When we do this our relationship with ourself, others, and our practice will deepen. Commit to yourself and others to show up fully in each moment. Your full self all you really have to give. When viewed like this, commitment is not a trap; rather it’s the key to set you free.
Chuck Hancock, M.Ed is a National Certified Counselor and a Registered Psychotherapist in the state of CO. He has completed comprehensive training in the Hakomi Method of Experiential Psychotherapy, a mindfulness mind-body centered approach. Chuck guides individuals and groups in self-exploration providing them with insight and tools for change. He also incorporates nature as a therapy tool to help shift perspective and inspire new patterns.