relaxation | Inner Life Adventures

24Feb2021

5 Foundational Tools and 200 Coping Skills Everyone Should Have for a Balanced Life

February 24, 2021

anger, anxiety, exercise, feelings, goals, growth, meditation, mindfulness, personal growth, priorities, relaxation, self esteem, shame, stress, stress reduction, therapy

Here are the 5 Foundational Tools and 200+ Coping Skills Everyone Should Have to be able to self-regulate

Our mental and emotional stress ebbs and flows throughout life as our schedules, routines, and work tasks change. Because of this, I highly recommend that we all do a daily check in – two or three times per day even with our current mental, emotional, physical, and stress levels. The human body can only handle so much, and our mental, emotional, physical, and relational stress all take a significant toll on our nervous system.

It doesn’t have to take too much time, a simple traffic light works great:

Green – I’m good, great even perhaps! Keep going (if you want to)!
Yellow – I need to be careful, use caution, pay close attention, consider slowing down.
Red – Stop right now or harm will come.

Or if you are more numbers focused, a 0-10 scale also works great where 0 represents calm and relaxed and 9-10 signifies stop right now, I can’t take anymore.

So once you start monitoring your nervous system and recognize that you need to reduce stress, what do you do? There are 5 foundational tools all supported by research that are very effective in reducing stress as well as difficult moods like anxiety and depression. Having these tools in your back pocket are great when you need to reduce your stress levels or even better, build into healthy life routines to maintain a sustainable pace as much as possible.

Mindfulness – Find several flavors of mindfulness exercises that work for you. See my resources section, YouTube, or apps like Insight Timer, Calm, or Headspace have many guided practices. Some key practices are focusing meditation (on your breath, music, candle, object in nature, etc), listening to relaxing music or binaural beats, body scan meditation, walking meditation, and loving kindness meditation. My personal favorite is walking in nature paying attention to your 5 senses.

Exercise – Any exercise will do – walking, running, bodyweight fitness, calisthenics, weight lifting, stretching, yoga, martial arts, sports. Get your body moving and heart rate up with activities that are appropriate for your body and skill level. Even doing pushups, jumping jacks, burpees, until you can’t do any more for 5 minutes makes a difference! You don’t have to commit to a full training program!

Nature – So much has been written on the benefits of nature. See here for a brief introduction. Go outside and use your 5 senses (hear, smell, sight, touch, taste – well, be careful what you taste outside). It can be just outside your home, your closest park, a patch of grass, your closest favorite trail, or a wilderness destination. Just get outside!

Communication – Communication helps you get beyond yourself to connect with other people, nature, pets, or the transpersonal (spiritual) realms.This is a big topic, but for now, know that being able to effectively communicate to connect with others beyond yourself so you can express yourself creatively and effectively is another essential skill. There are many effective communication skills and strategies that you can learn, and there are many blocks to communication that can happen in yourself or with others. Taking time to develop the ability to communicate your wants, needs, ideas, requests, and feelings is essential for a healthy balanced life. Which leads to:

Emotional Intelligence – The definition of an emotion in the Psychology 101 textbook I used to teach from is that it is a subjective physiological experience. That is, your feelings are yours, and they happen in your body. The foundation for knowing yourself, effectively communicating with others, and managing your stress is emotional intelligence. Some people say that our thoughts control our feelings, which has some truth, but really our emotions are often way more powerful than our thoughts. Our minds create stories to make sense of our feelings at least as much as our thoughts create our feelings. Knowing what you are feeling, to what degree, and being able to be honest with yourself and the right others is an essential skill for being human. Research shows that no matter what culture, education level, or level of industrialization of your community, all humans feel the same 5 basic emotions:

Mad (also known as frustrated, annoyed, etc)

Sad (also known as down, blue, moody, etc)

Glad (also known as happy, joyful, content, peaceful, etc)

Fear (also known as anxious, nervous, tense, etc)

Shame/Guilt (pretty self explanatory, but helpful to distinguish between Guilt – a healthy emotion of I did something wrong and feel bad about, and Shame – I am bad)

Being able to identify our basic feelings is a foundational step to a healthy balanced life, understanding yourself, and relating to others. I invite you to add onto the traffic light or 0-10 scale exercise above by naming the feeling that goes with it and where it is happening in your body.

When the above 5 Foundational Tools are well developed, it will go a long way to help you manage your life more effectively and live with greater wellness and health. Getting skilled at using these tools takes time and practice. Our team of therapists can help you learn and refine these skills. Further, when you need a break because the stress is just too high (you are at a “red light”) and none of these foundational tools are working, it’s time for something more basic. That’s when the coping skills below come in handy. Use the ones that seem helpful to you, ignore the rest. Everyone is different and likes different things.

So there you have it – 5 Foundational Tools to develop and 200 coping skills to help you live a healthy well balanced life. If you get good at all of this, are living life effectively and are content, then give yourself a big congratulations! That is something! For many of us though, these skills are just the tools that make deeper exploration possible. It’s difficult to do deeper therapy without these skills, but these skills are not the end of the road. Once you are ready to understand the bigger picture patterns that create unneeded stress and keep you repeating the old patterns, you know it is time to seek an Inner Life Guide – a therapist skilled at depth work. That is our specialty!

So, reach out when you are ready. Whether you are at the beginning of the trail, haven’t yet left your home, or are deep in the wilderness, we’ll meet you where you are and guide you to greater health and wellness!

Big List of 200+ Coping Skills

Cognitive

Self-monitoring
- Identify your stress level
- Identify your emotions
- Identify how this shows up in your body
Cognitive restructuring
- Challenging the truth/assumptions of your thoughts
- Refram with positive self-talk/reassurance
- Say something kind to yourself
- Say “I can do this”
- Make a list of positive affirmations
- List your positive qualities/strengths (and refer to it often)
- Compliment yourself
- Act opposite of negative feelings you’re experiencing
- List things you are proud of
- Make a gratitude list
- Keep a daily positive experiences journal
- Start a notebook with different inspirational and meaningful quotes
- Make a “forget it” list
Setting and managing goals
Decision making pros and cons
Brainstorm solutions to a problem you are facing
Keep an inspirational quote with you
Read a magazine
Write a thank you note
Take pictures
Write a list
Schedule time for yourself
Write a story
Blog
Count to 100, then do it backwards
Do a crossword or sudoku puzzle
Play a word game on your phone/computer
Plan a trip
Write down your thoughts
Identify a positive thought
Make your day’s schedule
Make a to-do list
Write
Journal
Plan a dream vacation
Research a topic of interest
Start your memoir
Start a blog
Research your family tree
Look at pictures you’ve taken
Start a dream journal
Do a puzzle
Write a short story or poem – refrain from self judgement or critique – give yourself permission for it to be really bad if necessary
Count backwards from 500
Think of 3 foods for every letter of the alphabet
Play a video game
Visualize a stop sign
Notice and name 5 things you can see, hear, and touch.
Color a mandala or a page from an adult coloring book
Practice playing an instrument

Emotional

Cry
Watch a funny video
Name your feelings
Name the triggers to your feelings
Watch a sad movie/video
Laugh
Scream into a pillow
Smile in the mirror
Move anger through movement, slamming pillows, or throwing or breaking rocks
Find a way to amplify your feelings to catharsis
Feel fear, remind yourself you are safe (if you really are safe)
Make a list of things you are grateful for. Feel the feeling of gratitude. What does it feel like?
Tell someone you love them
Tell yourself you love and care about yourself

Somatic (physical)

Deep breaths – 10, then 10 more if needed
Progressive muscle relaxation – systematically tense and relax all your muscles
Do a positive activity
Play sports
Stretch
Take a walk
Practice yoga
Give yourself or someone else a massage
Ask for a massage
Go for a bike ride
Play with clay
Crawl and roll around on the floor
Visualize your favorite place
Listen to music
Eat a healthy snack
Jog in place
Do pushups, squats, jumping jacks, or anything to exhaustion
Hum your favorite song
Clean something
Use a stress ball
Dance
Sexual self pleasure
Build something
Play with clay
Rip paper into pieces
Chew gum
Paint your nails
Garden
Paint
Drink some tea and pay attention to the temperature, flavors, and smells
Pet an animal
Organize something
Listen to nature sounds
Take a bath/shower
Use aromatherapy
Put on a face mask
Sing
Go for a drive
Watch television
Go shopping
Blow bubbles
Squeeze or suck on an ice cube
Sit in the sun and close your eyes
Throw rocks into the woods
Suck on a peppermint
Do the dishes
Make (and listen to) an upbeat playlist
Move your body to music
Scream into a pillow
Swim
Use nicely scented lotion
Get a massage
Play hacky sack
Stargaze
Give yourself a facial
Play a video game
Watch sports
Wear soft/comfortable clothes

Transpersonal/spiritual

Pray
Meditate
Attend a church service, group meditation, or yoga class
Listen to a recorded inspirational or spiritual talk
Get out in nature and talk to a natural object, plant, or animal
Do self generated ritual or ceremony
Talk with your deceased loved ones or ancestors

Behavioral and Social/relational

Behavioral activation
- Complete something you have been putting off
- Try a new recipe
- Create a vision board
- Make a bucket list
- Call or write your senator to discuss an issue that’s important to you
- Learn a new skill
  - Learn how to play an instrument
  - Learn how to read sheet music
  - Learn how to code
  - Learn 10 new words
  - Learn photography
  - Study and learn a foreign language
  - Take a class
- Slow down, breath as you are doing things
Research something you’re interested in or would like to learn more about
Get enough sleep – keep a sleep log if sleep is a challenge
Take a nap
Volunteer
Go to library
Go for a picnic
Watch a movie
Draw/doodle/color
Ask yourself “What do I need right now?”
Play a game
Ask for and take a break
Enjoy a hobby
Shoot hoops
Shoot a bow and arrow
Dake a day for self care
Play an instrument
Reward or pamper yourself
Create art
Go for a relaxing drive out of town
Destroy something (that you can afford to lose)
Sew, knit, crochet
Make a collage of your favorite things
Work on the car
Cook or bake
Paint a room
Make a gift for someone. Give it to them.
Give a small gift to a random person
Restore furniture
Play with a pet
Listen to music with a friend
Feed ducks/birds
Visit an animal shelter
Make your bed
Clean your room, kitchen, or whole house
Clean out your car
Turn on all of the lights
Fly a kite
Join a book club
Talk to a friend
Give someone a hug
Tell someone you are thankful for them
Express your feelings to someone
Smile at others
Meet a friend at a park, home, coffee shop, or restaurant
Get dressed up in a nice outfit
Put on makeup – fun, funky, creative or fancy and beautiful – your choice
Schedule an appointment for therapy

Tying it all together with practice accepting the things you cannot change,

Cultivating the courage to change the things you can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Chuck Hancock, M.Ed, LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of CO. He has completed comprehensive training in the Hakomi Method of Experiential Psychotherapy, a mindfulness mind-body centered approach. Chuck guides individuals and groups in self-exploration providing them with insight and tools for change. He also incorporates nature as a therapy tool to help shift perspective and inspire new patterns.

27Jan2016

You Should Get Outside More (says science)

January 27, 2016

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anxiety, busy, depression, exercise, experience, experiential, human experience, mindfulness, outdoors, relaxation, stress, therapy, Uncategorized

Summary of research and a few exercises you can use

I don’t use the word should very often. It’s a dirty word. And who am I to tell anyone they should do anything? But I will right now: you should get outside more! And it’s not just me saying this, it’s science!

I’ve long been a lover of the outdoors participating in numerous sports and other outdoor activities over the course of my life. However it was about 10 years ago when I was on a 4 day backpacking trip with a self admitted stress-loving over-working friend of mine that I first caught a glimpse of the true power of the wilderness beyond being just a venue for recreation. It was on this trip that I solidified my decision to go back to grad school to become a counselor because I wanted to help people get to the place of openness, self-exploration, relaxation, and motivation that I saw in my friend that day. I’ve learned a lot of skills and tools over the years, but none have been as good as nature to get the effects I saw that trip.

One of my biggest fears is being judged, so I’ve only dipped my toe in the outdoor therapy world until this point. The last thing I want to be judged as is a long haired tree hugging hippy who takes people into the woods to reconnect with nature with drum circles to find their lost soul (Not that there is anything wrong with any of that – I’ve done them all and they are great! You may consider trying those things too 😉 ). But I know that scene is repulsive to some people so I’ve purposely stayed away from it professionally, because I know that sometimes people who are afraid to drop their guard enough to try something that far out of their comfort zone can be the people that need the power of the outdoors most.

So lately, I’ve been excited to find that more research is being done to understand what effects being outside does have on our minds and bodies. In this recent National Geographic article, the author does a great job summarizing the results of international research from the past few years. I still recommend reading it, but here are some of the main research points if you don’t have time.

Scroll down to the bold print to skip the research and get right to the exercise.

Being outside helps your brain take a break from it’s constant use. This can reduce stress, increase creativity, and produce a difference in qualitative thinking. We think it lets the pre-frontal cortex unplug for a bit (the part of our brain in charge of cognitive function, rational thought, planning, personality, social expression,
inhibitions, decision making, executive functioning, and more.) The most pronounced changes happens after being outside for 3 days.

But even a 15-minute walk in the woods causes measurable changes in physiology. Japanese researchers at Chiba University sent 84 subjects to stroll in seven different forests, while the same number of volunteers walked around city centers. The forest walkers hit a relaxation jackpot: Overall they showed a 16 percent decrease in the stress hormone cortisol, a 2 percent drop in blood pressure, and a 4 percent drop in heart rate. Researcher Miyazaki believes our bodies relax in pleasant, natural surroundings because they evolved there. Our senses are adapted to interpret information about plants and streams, he says, not traffic and high-rises.

The South Koreans have been doing research on the impact of work stress, long hours, digital addiction, and academic pressures. They are now devoting some forests as healing centers and prescribing time in nature to help combat these maladies. They have research that shows forest healing reduces medical costs

Several unrelated studies in England, Denmark, Canada, and Scotland all showed lower mortality, fewer stress hormones, less mental distress and lower incidence of 15 diseases including depression, anxiety, heart disease, diabetes, asthma, and migraines even when adjusted for confounding variables. That is levels of income, education, employment, and exercise did not effect the data. Just living near green space made a difference. If anything, lower income people seemed to benefit the most.

“In Finland, a country that struggles with high rates of depression, alcoholism, and suicide, government-funded researchers asked thousands of people to rate their moods and stress levels after visiting both natural and urban areas. Based on that study and others, Professor Liisa Tyrväinen and her team at the Natural Resources Institute Finland recommend a minimum nature dose of five hours a month—several short visits a week—to ward off the blues. “A 40- to 50-minute walk seems to be enough for physiological changes and mood changes and probably for attention,” says Kalevi Korpela, a professor of psychology at the University of Tampere. He has helped design a half dozen “power trails” that encourage walking, mindfulness, and reflection. Signs on them say things like, “Squat down and touch a plant.””

“Korean researchers used functional MRI to watch brain activity in people viewing different images. When the volunteers were looking at urban scenes, their brains showed more blood flow in the amygdala, which processes fear and anxiety. In contrast, the natural scenes lit up the anterior cingulate and the insula—areas associated with empathy and altruism. It may also make us nicer to ourselves. Stanford researcher Greg Bratman and his colleagues scanned the brains of 38 volunteers before and after they walked for 90 minutes, either in a large park or on a busy street in downtown Palo Alto. The nature walkers, but not the city walkers, showed decreased activity in the subgenual prefrontal cortex—a part of the brain tied to depressive rumination—and from their own reports, the nature walkers beat themselves up less.”

And the nature you visit doesn’t have to be in a wilderness area and it doesn’t just affect mood. Another study showed a 50-minute walk in an arboretum improved executive attention skills, such as short-term memory, while walking along a city street did not. “Imagine a therapy that had no known side effects, was readily available, and could improve your cognitive functioning at zero cost,” the researchers wrote in their paper. It exists, they continued, and it’s called “interacting with nature.”

To summarize, there is research that suggests viewing and/or being in nature can reduce stress, reduce disease (including depression, anxiety, heart disease, diabetes, asthma, and migraines), decrease blood pressure and heart rate, improve attention, improve mood, increase empathy and altruism, increase creativity, decrease depressive rumination, and while I haven’t seen research that supports this, my experience is that most people tend to enjoy themselves and have a good time. Not bad for something that is free.

So like I said earlier, you really should get outside more. Just getting outside can help. Do it regularly, do it often, and at least once in a while, go for longer periods of time. If you want to make your time outside even more restorative and connecting, here’s a few tips and tools I’ve learned from personal observation that can enhance your experience.

Disconnect from time. If you have a time limit, set a timer or alarm for 1/2 the amount of time you are willing to give to this experience. When this sounds, you will need to turn around and make your way back. Until then, don’t worry about time, your timer will tell you when you need to head back. Let yourself be fully present to the natural environment.
Mark your transition from your urban/suburban/societal/structured/scheduled life into the natural world. When you leave the parking lot, sidewalk, building, etc and enter into natural space, make a mental note that you are shifting from one way of being into another. At this point, be sure your phone is on silent, your to-do list is put away, your calendar holds your obligations, and anything that is taking mental space is put on hold for the duration of your journey.If necessary, physically stop and mentally put down stresses, issues, people, thoughts, feelings, responsibilities, or anything currently bothering you that could get in the way of you being present with the natural world. Imagine a container to hold them and/or put them near a rock, tree, or entrance and leave them there. You can pick them up again on your way out (if you want).
If there is something you are pondering or something is really bothering you and you would be open to letting your creative subconscious mind work on it for you, set an intention or ask a question as you enter this space. Then drop it. Notice what you notice (see below) while you are in the natural environment, and maybe there will be some insight into your situation. Or maybe not, but it doesn’t hurt to try.
Come back to your senses! Just notice what you notice. When in natural space, let your analytical mind take a break and instead focus on your senses. What do you sense outside of you with your sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch? What do you notice in your body as you move? What do you notice in your emotional and
energetic state? What thoughts pop into your mind automatically? Just notice what you notice, then notice something else. Over and over again while you are there.
Let your curiosity awaken. What do your eyes get drawn to? What sounds do you hear? What made them? Don’t worry about right and wrong or really knowing the answer. Just be curious. Which direction will you head? Let your curiosity and intuition be your guide. When you find something interesting, stop and study it with all your senses. What will you discover? I’m getting excited for you!
When it is time to leave, before you leave the space pause for a minute or two and reflect on all that you noticed. Offer thanks to yourself for letting yourself have the time and thanks to the space and any creatures, insights, or special moments that presented themselves.
Bring the experience back into your ordinary life. Write about your experience and/or tell somebody that will just listen. Let these questions guide you: What happened here? (Recount as much as you can) What did you learn from it? What are the bigger picture deeper lessons? How can it inform my life? How did this time outside help me?

So there you go. Get outside. Deepen in your relationship with yourself and with the natural world. Do this with a friend or family member and deepen in your relationship with them. If you have questions or would like to share your experience with this exercise, I’d love to hear from you. Email me at [email protected]. Hope to see you outside!

Is your analytic brain still not convinced? Here are links to more articles and research.

Nature and Mental Health, Cognitive Function, Attention: https://depts.washington.edu/hhwb/Thm_Mental.html

Exploring the Mental Health Benefits of Natural Environments
http://journal.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.01178/full

Stanford researchers find mental health prescription: Nature.
http://news.stanford.edu/news/2015/june/hiking-mental-health-063015.html

2 Minute Walk May Reverse Harms of Sitting
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/05/13/a-2-minute-walk-may-counter-the-harms-of-sitting/

Benefits Of Ecotherapy: Being In Nature Fights Depression, Improves Mental Health And Well-Being
http://www.medicaldaily.com/benefits-ecotherapy-being-nature-fights-depression-improves-mental-health-and-well-being-261075

Nature experience reduces rumination and subgenual prefrontal cortex activation
http://www.pnas.org/content/112/28/8567.abstract

Creativity in the Wild: Improving Creative Reasoning through Immersion in Natural Settings
http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0051474

Offline Sources

Hartig, T., Mang, M., and Evans, G. (1991). Restorative effects of natural environment experiences. Environment and behavior , 23 (1), 3-26.

Kaplan, R. and Kaplan, S. (1989). The Experience of nature . Cambridge Press.

Kaplan. S. and Talbot, J. (1983). Psychological benefits of a wilderness experience. In Altman, I. and Wohlwill, (Eds.), Behavior and the natural environment . New York: Plenum Press.

Turner, V. (1969). The ritual process . Chicago: Aldine.

Ulrich, R. S. et al. (1991). Stress recovery during exposure to natural and urban environments. Journal of environmental psychology , 11 (3), 201-230.

Do you know of a good study not cited here? Please send it my way. I’m collecting good empirical support to make time in nature an “Evidence Based Practice.”

28Oct2014

It’s OK to be Angry

October 28, 2014

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anger anger, anxiety, busy, embodied, feelings, human experience, mindfulness, relaxation, stress

Most of us have a conflicted and misinformed relationship with anger. On one hand, some people think it anger is bad and do everything

Photo By: Lara Schneider

possible to stay well away from it to never risk feeling that way and when it does slip out, they feel guilty for being angry. Or for other people it is the go-to emotion. Anger is the only reaction that is possible and it gets overused with the wrong people at the wrong times. Obviously, as with most extremes, neither reaction to anger is healthy.

Anger is a natural and helpful emotion that says, “something is happening I am really not okay with” or “something is not happening that I really need.” Anger is our system’s response that says this is so important, I’m going to do whatever it takes including getting bigger, louder, faster, stronger, and more powerful to make it happen. Obviously, without this reaction, we can get taken advantage of, resulting in even more hurt. So it is important to never cut ourselves off from our anger. But it is also helpful to learn how to be angry in a helpful and productive way to avoid doing damage to those we care about.

Here are a few tips for having productive anger:

1) Slow down. When we get angry, our nervous system is aroused. Its the “fight” part of the “fight or flight” response. But we can and need to consciously control this. Name for yourself (and others) that you notice yourself getting activated. Take slow deep breaths. Take a time out. Go for a walk or run outside. Avoid acting from our anger.

2) Identify what is happening that is really not OK or what you really need that is not happening in the situation. See if there is another emotion under the anger. Write down these needs and/or feelings for yourself or share it with a trusted friend. Eventually, in a calm state, you will want to share this with the source of your anger.

3) Take responsibility. Do not blame the other person. Acknowledge the specific actions that led to your anger and own your reactions and emotions.

4) Make a request for things to be different. Now knowing what you need, you can now find a way to creatively, rationally, and collaboratively get closer to what you are hoping will happen.

Practicing these things help bring us in closer relationship with ourselves and others. Always acting from anger or avoiding it ultimately cuts us off and distances us from ourselves and others leading to resentment or hurt feelings. Of course, it’s not easy, but it’s a worthwhile practice. Good luck! Let me know how it goes.

~chuck

What do you think? Better yet, what do you feel? What do you experience? Let’s continue the conversation! You can find me at www.innerlifeadventures.com or email [email protected]. Want to meet? Here’s how.

Chuck Hancock, M.Ed, LPC is a National Certified Counselor, Licensed Professional Counselor, and a Registered Psychotherapist in the state of CO. He has completed comprehensive training in the Hakomi Method of Experiential Psychotherapy, a mindfulness mind-body centered approach. Chuck guides individuals and groups in self-exploration providing them with insight and tools for change. He also incorporates nature as a therapy tool to help shift perspective and inspire new patterns.

Want more? Check out The Right Way to Get Angry by the Greater Good Science Center at University of California Berkeley. With bonus video on how to stay calm during a fight in your relationships.

4Feb2013

Give Yourself the Gift of a Few Minutes

February 4, 2013

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busy, change, meditation, mindfulness, priorities, relaxation, stress, values

This morning, as I was rushing my kids to school and thinking of all the things I have to do this week, I was both excited about it all and starting to feel a little burdened with all the to-do items. So when I got to my office, I did what any responsible person with an overfull plate would do: I took a few minutes to do nothing!

At first, I thought I would just take a few breaths, but the weight of the week was still creeping in. So I set my meditation timer for 6 minutes, and just let myself really enjoy the not doing. Each time a new thought of something to do came in, just reminded myself I don’t have to do that right now, and got back to enjoying the not doing.

Feeling refreshed, grounded, and ready, I hopped up and added to my to-do list by writing this to share it with you!

It really helps to give yourself a short break. It helps even more to set a timer so your mind doesn’t have to worry about when it is time to get up. If you are new to doing any sort of focusing or meditation, the simple practice I recommend the most and use myself the most is this:

Find someplace you can sit comfortably without having to move or be disturbed.
Set your timer for 2-5 minutes, or whatever short amount of time you are willing to give to yourself in this moment.
Start the timer.
Pay attention to your breath without trying to change or control it. Either pay attention to the air moving in and out of your nose or the sensation of your belly rising and falling, whichever is easier.
Anytime you find yourself having the urge to think about something or get up and do something, gently remind yourself you can do it in a few minutes, right now you are just sitting.

There is no goal. You don’t win a gold star if you have no thoughts during this time. You are also not trying to achieve any sort of relaxation. Just simply give yourself the break of focusing on your breath for a few minutes.
Being gentle with yourself is the most important thing.

When your timer rings, simply take one more big inhale fully filling your belly and chest and let the breath exhale naturally without effort.

You can use any timer you have handy for this exercise. If you are in front of a computer or have a smart phone, here are a couple free options that have a nice bell sound.

Any computer: http://www.onlinemeditationtimer.com/
Android

Now you are ready to go about your busyness – without getting overwhelmed by it. Have a great day!

~chuck