exercise | Inner Life Adventures

24Feb2021

5 Foundational Tools and 200 Coping Skills Everyone Should Have for a Balanced Life

February 24, 2021

anger, anxiety, exercise, feelings, goals, growth, meditation, mindfulness, personal growth, priorities, relaxation, self esteem, shame, stress, stress reduction, therapy

Here are the 5 Foundational Tools and 200+ Coping Skills Everyone Should Have to be able to self-regulate

Our mental and emotional stress ebbs and flows throughout life as our schedules, routines, and work tasks change. Because of this, I highly recommend that we all do a daily check in – two or three times per day even with our current mental, emotional, physical, and stress levels. The human body can only handle so much, and our mental, emotional, physical, and relational stress all take a significant toll on our nervous system.

It doesn’t have to take too much time, a simple traffic light works great:

Green – I’m good, great even perhaps! Keep going (if you want to)!
Yellow – I need to be careful, use caution, pay close attention, consider slowing down.
Red – Stop right now or harm will come.

Or if you are more numbers focused, a 0-10 scale also works great where 0 represents calm and relaxed and 9-10 signifies stop right now, I can’t take anymore.

So once you start monitoring your nervous system and recognize that you need to reduce stress, what do you do? There are 5 foundational tools all supported by research that are very effective in reducing stress as well as difficult moods like anxiety and depression. Having these tools in your back pocket are great when you need to reduce your stress levels or even better, build into healthy life routines to maintain a sustainable pace as much as possible.

Mindfulness – Find several flavors of mindfulness exercises that work for you. See my resources section, YouTube, or apps like Insight Timer, Calm, or Headspace have many guided practices. Some key practices are focusing meditation (on your breath, music, candle, object in nature, etc), listening to relaxing music or binaural beats, body scan meditation, walking meditation, and loving kindness meditation. My personal favorite is walking in nature paying attention to your 5 senses.

Exercise – Any exercise will do – walking, running, bodyweight fitness, calisthenics, weight lifting, stretching, yoga, martial arts, sports. Get your body moving and heart rate up with activities that are appropriate for your body and skill level. Even doing pushups, jumping jacks, burpees, until you can’t do any more for 5 minutes makes a difference! You don’t have to commit to a full training program!

Nature – So much has been written on the benefits of nature. See here for a brief introduction. Go outside and use your 5 senses (hear, smell, sight, touch, taste – well, be careful what you taste outside). It can be just outside your home, your closest park, a patch of grass, your closest favorite trail, or a wilderness destination. Just get outside!

Communication – Communication helps you get beyond yourself to connect with other people, nature, pets, or the transpersonal (spiritual) realms.This is a big topic, but for now, know that being able to effectively communicate to connect with others beyond yourself so you can express yourself creatively and effectively is another essential skill. There are many effective communication skills and strategies that you can learn, and there are many blocks to communication that can happen in yourself or with others. Taking time to develop the ability to communicate your wants, needs, ideas, requests, and feelings is essential for a healthy balanced life. Which leads to:

Emotional Intelligence – The definition of an emotion in the Psychology 101 textbook I used to teach from is that it is a subjective physiological experience. That is, your feelings are yours, and they happen in your body. The foundation for knowing yourself, effectively communicating with others, and managing your stress is emotional intelligence. Some people say that our thoughts control our feelings, which has some truth, but really our emotions are often way more powerful than our thoughts. Our minds create stories to make sense of our feelings at least as much as our thoughts create our feelings. Knowing what you are feeling, to what degree, and being able to be honest with yourself and the right others is an essential skill for being human. Research shows that no matter what culture, education level, or level of industrialization of your community, all humans feel the same 5 basic emotions:

Mad (also known as frustrated, annoyed, etc)

Sad (also known as down, blue, moody, etc)

Glad (also known as happy, joyful, content, peaceful, etc)

Fear (also known as anxious, nervous, tense, etc)

Shame/Guilt (pretty self explanatory, but helpful to distinguish between Guilt – a healthy emotion of I did something wrong and feel bad about, and Shame – I am bad)

Being able to identify our basic feelings is a foundational step to a healthy balanced life, understanding yourself, and relating to others. I invite you to add onto the traffic light or 0-10 scale exercise above by naming the feeling that goes with it and where it is happening in your body.

When the above 5 Foundational Tools are well developed, it will go a long way to help you manage your life more effectively and live with greater wellness and health. Getting skilled at using these tools takes time and practice. Our team of therapists can help you learn and refine these skills. Further, when you need a break because the stress is just too high (you are at a “red light”) and none of these foundational tools are working, it’s time for something more basic. That’s when the coping skills below come in handy. Use the ones that seem helpful to you, ignore the rest. Everyone is different and likes different things.

So there you have it – 5 Foundational Tools to develop and 200 coping skills to help you live a healthy well balanced life. If you get good at all of this, are living life effectively and are content, then give yourself a big congratulations! That is something! For many of us though, these skills are just the tools that make deeper exploration possible. It’s difficult to do deeper therapy without these skills, but these skills are not the end of the road. Once you are ready to understand the bigger picture patterns that create unneeded stress and keep you repeating the old patterns, you know it is time to seek an Inner Life Guide – a therapist skilled at depth work. That is our specialty!

So, reach out when you are ready. Whether you are at the beginning of the trail, haven’t yet left your home, or are deep in the wilderness, we’ll meet you where you are and guide you to greater health and wellness!

Big List of 200+ Coping Skills

Cognitive

Self-monitoring
- Identify your stress level
- Identify your emotions
- Identify how this shows up in your body
Cognitive restructuring
- Challenging the truth/assumptions of your thoughts
- Refram with positive self-talk/reassurance
- Say something kind to yourself
- Say “I can do this”
- Make a list of positive affirmations
- List your positive qualities/strengths (and refer to it often)
- Compliment yourself
- Act opposite of negative feelings you’re experiencing
- List things you are proud of
- Make a gratitude list
- Keep a daily positive experiences journal
- Start a notebook with different inspirational and meaningful quotes
- Make a “forget it” list
Setting and managing goals
Decision making pros and cons
Brainstorm solutions to a problem you are facing
Keep an inspirational quote with you
Read a magazine
Write a thank you note
Take pictures
Write a list
Schedule time for yourself
Write a story
Blog
Count to 100, then do it backwards
Do a crossword or sudoku puzzle
Play a word game on your phone/computer
Plan a trip
Write down your thoughts
Identify a positive thought
Make your day’s schedule
Make a to-do list
Write
Journal
Plan a dream vacation
Research a topic of interest
Start your memoir
Start a blog
Research your family tree
Look at pictures you’ve taken
Start a dream journal
Do a puzzle
Write a short story or poem – refrain from self judgement or critique – give yourself permission for it to be really bad if necessary
Count backwards from 500
Think of 3 foods for every letter of the alphabet
Play a video game
Visualize a stop sign
Notice and name 5 things you can see, hear, and touch.
Color a mandala or a page from an adult coloring book
Practice playing an instrument

Emotional

Cry
Watch a funny video
Name your feelings
Name the triggers to your feelings
Watch a sad movie/video
Laugh
Scream into a pillow
Smile in the mirror
Move anger through movement, slamming pillows, or throwing or breaking rocks
Find a way to amplify your feelings to catharsis
Feel fear, remind yourself you are safe (if you really are safe)
Make a list of things you are grateful for. Feel the feeling of gratitude. What does it feel like?
Tell someone you love them
Tell yourself you love and care about yourself

Somatic (physical)

Deep breaths – 10, then 10 more if needed
Progressive muscle relaxation – systematically tense and relax all your muscles
Do a positive activity
Play sports
Stretch
Take a walk
Practice yoga
Give yourself or someone else a massage
Ask for a massage
Go for a bike ride
Play with clay
Crawl and roll around on the floor
Visualize your favorite place
Listen to music
Eat a healthy snack
Jog in place
Do pushups, squats, jumping jacks, or anything to exhaustion
Hum your favorite song
Clean something
Use a stress ball
Dance
Sexual self pleasure
Build something
Play with clay
Rip paper into pieces
Chew gum
Paint your nails
Garden
Paint
Drink some tea and pay attention to the temperature, flavors, and smells
Pet an animal
Organize something
Listen to nature sounds
Take a bath/shower
Use aromatherapy
Put on a face mask
Sing
Go for a drive
Watch television
Go shopping
Blow bubbles
Squeeze or suck on an ice cube
Sit in the sun and close your eyes
Throw rocks into the woods
Suck on a peppermint
Do the dishes
Make (and listen to) an upbeat playlist
Move your body to music
Scream into a pillow
Swim
Use nicely scented lotion
Get a massage
Play hacky sack
Stargaze
Give yourself a facial
Play a video game
Watch sports
Wear soft/comfortable clothes

Transpersonal/spiritual

Pray
Meditate
Attend a church service, group meditation, or yoga class
Listen to a recorded inspirational or spiritual talk
Get out in nature and talk to a natural object, plant, or animal
Do self generated ritual or ceremony
Talk with your deceased loved ones or ancestors

Behavioral and Social/relational

Behavioral activation
- Complete something you have been putting off
- Try a new recipe
- Create a vision board
- Make a bucket list
- Call or write your senator to discuss an issue that’s important to you
- Learn a new skill
  - Learn how to play an instrument
  - Learn how to read sheet music
  - Learn how to code
  - Learn 10 new words
  - Learn photography
  - Study and learn a foreign language
  - Take a class
- Slow down, breath as you are doing things
Research something you’re interested in or would like to learn more about
Get enough sleep – keep a sleep log if sleep is a challenge
Take a nap
Volunteer
Go to library
Go for a picnic
Watch a movie
Draw/doodle/color
Ask yourself “What do I need right now?”
Play a game
Ask for and take a break
Enjoy a hobby
Shoot hoops
Shoot a bow and arrow
Dake a day for self care
Play an instrument
Reward or pamper yourself
Create art
Go for a relaxing drive out of town
Destroy something (that you can afford to lose)
Sew, knit, crochet
Make a collage of your favorite things
Work on the car
Cook or bake
Paint a room
Make a gift for someone. Give it to them.
Give a small gift to a random person
Restore furniture
Play with a pet
Listen to music with a friend
Feed ducks/birds
Visit an animal shelter
Make your bed
Clean your room, kitchen, or whole house
Clean out your car
Turn on all of the lights
Fly a kite
Join a book club
Talk to a friend
Give someone a hug
Tell someone you are thankful for them
Express your feelings to someone
Smile at others
Meet a friend at a park, home, coffee shop, or restaurant
Get dressed up in a nice outfit
Put on makeup – fun, funky, creative or fancy and beautiful – your choice
Schedule an appointment for therapy

Tying it all together with practice accepting the things you cannot change,

Cultivating the courage to change the things you can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

Chuck Hancock, M.Ed, LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor in the state of CO. He has completed comprehensive training in the Hakomi Method of Experiential Psychotherapy, a mindfulness mind-body centered approach. Chuck guides individuals and groups in self-exploration providing them with insight and tools for change. He also incorporates nature as a therapy tool to help shift perspective and inspire new patterns.

6Apr2020

SAFE – Working with our Emotions with Compassion for Ourselves and Others

April 6, 2020

[email protected]

anger, anxiety, change, depression, embodied, exercise, feelings, loneliness, stress

‘‘When we don’t feel safe, our brains fall into a fear mindset and don’t allow for our natural states of joy, calm and happiness to arise.’’

SAFE is a simple acronym for a practice you can use to ignite the natural anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medicine of self-compassion. In this time of uncertainty, there are lots of things being felt. To make it through, we have to be able to work with our emotions in a healthy way, not ignore them or “just think positively.” It might work for a short time, but eventually you’ll run out of energy to keep supressing other feelings and welcoming only positive ones. When you are feeling something you don’t want to be feeling, try this practice.

S – Soften into the feeling. This implies a type of gentle recognition of the feeling or sensation in your body. Focus your awareness toward it softly. If you can, maybe even naming it. “Breathing in, opening to the sadness/fear/vulnerability that is there, breathing out, softening into it.” But if you can’t name it easily, don’t get hung up on it. Sometimes it is even better to not, as words and labels may make us jump to assumptions about it. But do make sure it is a feeling or sensation in your body, not a belief or narrative about something.

A – Allow it to be as it is, without resisting, trying to change it, or clinging to it. For as long as needed, but aim for at least a few minutes. Most likely not more than a few days. If it lasts more than a few days or weeks, some outside help or support may be needed.

F – Feel into the emotion that is there even more with a kind attention and compassion for it. In doing this we can also drop in questions to connect our mind with our feelings: “What is it trying to tell me?” “What is it’s message for me right now?“ “What does this feeling believe?”” or “What do I need right now?” When we discover this we might give that to ourselves. For example, if we sense that we need to feel loved and to feel safe, we might say, “May I feel loved, May I feel safe, etc…” We may need rest, connection, care, food, movement, etc. I’d encourage you to keep your gift related to your inner process, rather than feeling like you need to take external action, especially to change or avoid the feeling.

E – Expand awareness of all people who also experience this feeling. Remind yourself that while your situation may feel unique to you, the feeling you are experiencing is also experienced by virtually every human on this planet. This feeling, this vulnerability of sadness, fear, anger, guilt, shame, depression, anxiety, resistance, or any difficult experience is a universal human experience. This is a core component of self-compassion. Here is where we understand that we are not alone and that in this very moment there are thousands if not millions of people who are experiencing this very same feeling. The “E” of SAFE is where we inspire connection with the rest of humanity. In this practice we can also take what we learned from the “F” of SAFE and send it outward to specific people you know that also experience this or to humanity in general saying, “May we all feel loved, May we all feel safe, etc… Some people find it helpful to do this with a hand on their heart, stomach or both.

If you have trouble focusing on your inner experience in this way, it may be helpful to first ground yourself with input from your 5 senses. Paying attention to information first from the outside world of what you can hear, see, smell, touch/feel, and taste. Ask yourself, am I really SAFE in this moment? Is there an immediate threat? Most likely, there is not anything that has to happen this exact moment. Then allow yourself to come back to the SAFE exercise.

SAFE Acronym by Elisha Goldstein, PhD, explanations and expansion provided by Chuck Hancock, LPC, EMDR II of Inner Life Adventures

27Jan2016

You Should Get Outside More (says science)

January 27, 2016

[email protected]

anxiety, busy, depression, exercise, experience, experiential, human experience, mindfulness, outdoors, relaxation, stress, therapy, Uncategorized

Summary of research and a few exercises you can use

I don’t use the word should very often. It’s a dirty word. And who am I to tell anyone they should do anything? But I will right now: you should get outside more! And it’s not just me saying this, it’s science!

I’ve long been a lover of the outdoors participating in numerous sports and other outdoor activities over the course of my life. However it was about 10 years ago when I was on a 4 day backpacking trip with a self admitted stress-loving over-working friend of mine that I first caught a glimpse of the true power of the wilderness beyond being just a venue for recreation. It was on this trip that I solidified my decision to go back to grad school to become a counselor because I wanted to help people get to the place of openness, self-exploration, relaxation, and motivation that I saw in my friend that day. I’ve learned a lot of skills and tools over the years, but none have been as good as nature to get the effects I saw that trip.

One of my biggest fears is being judged, so I’ve only dipped my toe in the outdoor therapy world until this point. The last thing I want to be judged as is a long haired tree hugging hippy who takes people into the woods to reconnect with nature with drum circles to find their lost soul (Not that there is anything wrong with any of that – I’ve done them all and they are great! You may consider trying those things too 😉 ). But I know that scene is repulsive to some people so I’ve purposely stayed away from it professionally, because I know that sometimes people who are afraid to drop their guard enough to try something that far out of their comfort zone can be the people that need the power of the outdoors most.

So lately, I’ve been excited to find that more research is being done to understand what effects being outside does have on our minds and bodies. In this recent National Geographic article, the author does a great job summarizing the results of international research from the past few years. I still recommend reading it, but here are some of the main research points if you don’t have time.

Scroll down to the bold print to skip the research and get right to the exercise.

Being outside helps your brain take a break from it’s constant use. This can reduce stress, increase creativity, and produce a difference in qualitative thinking. We think it lets the pre-frontal cortex unplug for a bit (the part of our brain in charge of cognitive function, rational thought, planning, personality, social expression,
inhibitions, decision making, executive functioning, and more.) The most pronounced changes happens after being outside for 3 days.

But even a 15-minute walk in the woods causes measurable changes in physiology. Japanese researchers at Chiba University sent 84 subjects to stroll in seven different forests, while the same number of volunteers walked around city centers. The forest walkers hit a relaxation jackpot: Overall they showed a 16 percent decrease in the stress hormone cortisol, a 2 percent drop in blood pressure, and a 4 percent drop in heart rate. Researcher Miyazaki believes our bodies relax in pleasant, natural surroundings because they evolved there. Our senses are adapted to interpret information about plants and streams, he says, not traffic and high-rises.

The South Koreans have been doing research on the impact of work stress, long hours, digital addiction, and academic pressures. They are now devoting some forests as healing centers and prescribing time in nature to help combat these maladies. They have research that shows forest healing reduces medical costs

Several unrelated studies in England, Denmark, Canada, and Scotland all showed lower mortality, fewer stress hormones, less mental distress and lower incidence of 15 diseases including depression, anxiety, heart disease, diabetes, asthma, and migraines even when adjusted for confounding variables. That is levels of income, education, employment, and exercise did not effect the data. Just living near green space made a difference. If anything, lower income people seemed to benefit the most.

“In Finland, a country that struggles with high rates of depression, alcoholism, and suicide, government-funded researchers asked thousands of people to rate their moods and stress levels after visiting both natural and urban areas. Based on that study and others, Professor Liisa Tyrväinen and her team at the Natural Resources Institute Finland recommend a minimum nature dose of five hours a month—several short visits a week—to ward off the blues. “A 40- to 50-minute walk seems to be enough for physiological changes and mood changes and probably for attention,” says Kalevi Korpela, a professor of psychology at the University of Tampere. He has helped design a half dozen “power trails” that encourage walking, mindfulness, and reflection. Signs on them say things like, “Squat down and touch a plant.””

“Korean researchers used functional MRI to watch brain activity in people viewing different images. When the volunteers were looking at urban scenes, their brains showed more blood flow in the amygdala, which processes fear and anxiety. In contrast, the natural scenes lit up the anterior cingulate and the insula—areas associated with empathy and altruism. It may also make us nicer to ourselves. Stanford researcher Greg Bratman and his colleagues scanned the brains of 38 volunteers before and after they walked for 90 minutes, either in a large park or on a busy street in downtown Palo Alto. The nature walkers, but not the city walkers, showed decreased activity in the subgenual prefrontal cortex—a part of the brain tied to depressive rumination—and from their own reports, the nature walkers beat themselves up less.”

And the nature you visit doesn’t have to be in a wilderness area and it doesn’t just affect mood. Another study showed a 50-minute walk in an arboretum improved executive attention skills, such as short-term memory, while walking along a city street did not. “Imagine a therapy that had no known side effects, was readily available, and could improve your cognitive functioning at zero cost,” the researchers wrote in their paper. It exists, they continued, and it’s called “interacting with nature.”

To summarize, there is research that suggests viewing and/or being in nature can reduce stress, reduce disease (including depression, anxiety, heart disease, diabetes, asthma, and migraines), decrease blood pressure and heart rate, improve attention, improve mood, increase empathy and altruism, increase creativity, decrease depressive rumination, and while I haven’t seen research that supports this, my experience is that most people tend to enjoy themselves and have a good time. Not bad for something that is free.

So like I said earlier, you really should get outside more. Just getting outside can help. Do it regularly, do it often, and at least once in a while, go for longer periods of time. If you want to make your time outside even more restorative and connecting, here’s a few tips and tools I’ve learned from personal observation that can enhance your experience.

Disconnect from time. If you have a time limit, set a timer or alarm for 1/2 the amount of time you are willing to give to this experience. When this sounds, you will need to turn around and make your way back. Until then, don’t worry about time, your timer will tell you when you need to head back. Let yourself be fully present to the natural environment.
Mark your transition from your urban/suburban/societal/structured/scheduled life into the natural world. When you leave the parking lot, sidewalk, building, etc and enter into natural space, make a mental note that you are shifting from one way of being into another. At this point, be sure your phone is on silent, your to-do list is put away, your calendar holds your obligations, and anything that is taking mental space is put on hold for the duration of your journey.If necessary, physically stop and mentally put down stresses, issues, people, thoughts, feelings, responsibilities, or anything currently bothering you that could get in the way of you being present with the natural world. Imagine a container to hold them and/or put them near a rock, tree, or entrance and leave them there. You can pick them up again on your way out (if you want).
If there is something you are pondering or something is really bothering you and you would be open to letting your creative subconscious mind work on it for you, set an intention or ask a question as you enter this space. Then drop it. Notice what you notice (see below) while you are in the natural environment, and maybe there will be some insight into your situation. Or maybe not, but it doesn’t hurt to try.
Come back to your senses! Just notice what you notice. When in natural space, let your analytical mind take a break and instead focus on your senses. What do you sense outside of you with your sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch? What do you notice in your body as you move? What do you notice in your emotional and
energetic state? What thoughts pop into your mind automatically? Just notice what you notice, then notice something else. Over and over again while you are there.
Let your curiosity awaken. What do your eyes get drawn to? What sounds do you hear? What made them? Don’t worry about right and wrong or really knowing the answer. Just be curious. Which direction will you head? Let your curiosity and intuition be your guide. When you find something interesting, stop and study it with all your senses. What will you discover? I’m getting excited for you!
When it is time to leave, before you leave the space pause for a minute or two and reflect on all that you noticed. Offer thanks to yourself for letting yourself have the time and thanks to the space and any creatures, insights, or special moments that presented themselves.
Bring the experience back into your ordinary life. Write about your experience and/or tell somebody that will just listen. Let these questions guide you: What happened here? (Recount as much as you can) What did you learn from it? What are the bigger picture deeper lessons? How can it inform my life? How did this time outside help me?

So there you go. Get outside. Deepen in your relationship with yourself and with the natural world. Do this with a friend or family member and deepen in your relationship with them. If you have questions or would like to share your experience with this exercise, I’d love to hear from you. Email me at [email protected]. Hope to see you outside!

Is your analytic brain still not convinced? Here are links to more articles and research.

Nature and Mental Health, Cognitive Function, Attention: https://depts.washington.edu/hhwb/Thm_Mental.html

Exploring the Mental Health Benefits of Natural Environments
http://journal.frontiersin.org/article/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.01178/full

Stanford researchers find mental health prescription: Nature.
http://news.stanford.edu/news/2015/june/hiking-mental-health-063015.html

2 Minute Walk May Reverse Harms of Sitting
http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/05/13/a-2-minute-walk-may-counter-the-harms-of-sitting/

Benefits Of Ecotherapy: Being In Nature Fights Depression, Improves Mental Health And Well-Being
http://www.medicaldaily.com/benefits-ecotherapy-being-nature-fights-depression-improves-mental-health-and-well-being-261075

Nature experience reduces rumination and subgenual prefrontal cortex activation
http://www.pnas.org/content/112/28/8567.abstract

Creativity in the Wild: Improving Creative Reasoning through Immersion in Natural Settings
http://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0051474

Offline Sources

Hartig, T., Mang, M., and Evans, G. (1991). Restorative effects of natural environment experiences. Environment and behavior , 23 (1), 3-26.

Kaplan, R. and Kaplan, S. (1989). The Experience of nature . Cambridge Press.

Kaplan. S. and Talbot, J. (1983). Psychological benefits of a wilderness experience. In Altman, I. and Wohlwill, (Eds.), Behavior and the natural environment . New York: Plenum Press.

Turner, V. (1969). The ritual process . Chicago: Aldine.

Ulrich, R. S. et al. (1991). Stress recovery during exposure to natural and urban environments. Journal of environmental psychology , 11 (3), 201-230.

Do you know of a good study not cited here? Please send it my way. I’m collecting good empirical support to make time in nature an “Evidence Based Practice.”

17Aug2015

New Therapy Group for Teens

August 17, 2015

[email protected]

anger, anxiety, change, children, community, exercise, experience, experiential, feelings, goals, group, growth, human experience, kids, mindfulness, outdoors, personal growth, relationship, school, self esteem, therapy

Join us for a new first of its kind hybrid group therapy and wilderness therapy group for teenagers locally on the Front Range based out of Fort Collins, CO. This outdoor group was created to offer the best of coaching, therapy, and wilderness adventures to adolescents without the cost and time commitment of traditional backcountry programs.

This group is open to all teens of all genders regardless of “issue” who are simply looking for personal growth by getting outside and joining in a community of peers, connecting with themselves, others, and nature. Through exploring themselves, overcoming challenges, developing new skills, and being guided by expert facilitators our participants learn to bring the best of the lessons and experiences of the outside…. in.

For more details, click here and or contact Chuck directly at [email protected] or 970.556.4095.

Download a pdf version of the flyer to print, email, and share with someone who could benefit.

25Jul2014

True Fear vs Worry

July 25, 2014

[email protected]

anxiety, change, embodied, exercise, experience, experiential, growth, mindfulness, outdoors, stress

Ever since having a rattlesnake swim toward me and my kids a couple of weeks ago, every stick looks like a snake. Every stick causes a slight pause, a re-evaluation, and worry about getting bit. But this morning I got to see how unhelpful this really is.

This morning I was running on a familiar trail, after many false snake sightings my brain started to grow tired of it. Then I heard it, the loudest most intense rattle I’ve ever heard. And it’s close. My body freezes, my eyes search for the sound, my feet shuffle to a stop like the Road Runner cartoon character on the edge of a cliff. A rattlesnake tumbles off the rock next to me dead center on the trail in front of me. Only 6” from my feet, my body hovered over it still being pulled by my forward momentum.

I hear myself utter a fearful sound I’ve never heard myself make before. My breathing stops. All of my attention and focus goes to regaining my balance. I’m feeling real fear, much stronger than all the pointless worry of a few minutes ago. True fear totally consumes my body, giving me an alertness and activation that helps me with this threat. Yet there is enough focus and stillness inside, to watch what is happening and notice I have not been bit. The snake too was startled and all of its energy was going into curling up in it’s defensive position, which gave me time to back away.

We both stand our ground and stare at each other. My heart pounding, I breathe deep and regain my composure. It too is still, not rattling, just watching me. We both hold our places, no longer in the grips of fear. After a few minutes of watching each other and soaking in what just happened, I thank it for the experience and find an alternate route to continue on my journey.

Curiously, I notice that the rest of my run I’m actually not going on alert with every stick like before the meeting. The real encounter with an actual danger seems to have increased my ability to discern the real threat from the perceived threat.

My brain thought it was keeping me safe by raising my fear any time it saw a stick, but in fact it wasn’t real fear, and it was only distracting me from what was real. Having a snake 6” away from my foot triggered the real thing. And it reminded me that most things that can really hurt us can’t be predicted anyway, we just have to trust ourselves, trust our body, trust our experience, and trust our support to do what needs to be done when action is needed.

As tends to happen on my outings in nature, I realize there are so many ways this experience speaks to the challenges and ways I’m needing to grow right now. There are so many false fears in my mind about life, social situations, business decisions, my career, relationships, and more. And I see how they are all distractions. And the level of fear my worries present me with is so low, compared to a real danger. But I often perceive them as real, I don’t like feeling them, and I let them limit me.

Well, I used to. Knowing how the brain works, I know this experience created some new pathways in my brain. Just thinking about these things isn’t enough to change, but this helpful rattlesnake gave me a valuable experience. It will now be that much easier to see worry for what it is now that my perception has been changed. And I get to be grateful for yes, even a rattlesnake.

I hope you get out in the world and have your own lessons and life changing experiences. They happen anywhere, when you are open to your experience, whatever it may be. Just try not to play with rattlesnakes if you don’t have to. Hopefully you can learn your lessons easier. 🙂

~chuck

What do you think? Better yet, what do you feel? What do you experience? Let’s continue the conversation! You can find me at www.innerlifeadventures.com or email[email protected]. Want to meet? Here’s how.

Chuck Hancock, M.Ed, LPC is a National Certified Counselor, Licensed Professional Counselor, and a Registered Psychotherapist in the state of CO. He has completed comprehensive training in the Hakomi Method of Experiential Psychotherapy, a mindfulness mind-body centered approach. Chuck guides individuals and groups in self-exploration providing them with insight and tools for change. He also incorporates nature as a therapy tool to help shift perspective and inspire new patterns.

Image Used under Creative Commons by David O on Flickr

29Dec2012

Planning Your Route

December 29, 2012

[email protected]

change, exercise, goals, growth, mindfulness, new year, plans, priorities, resolutions, values

Setting Positive Intentions to Transition Into 2013

Over the past couple weeks, I have thankfully had more time on my hands. I have been using this time to stay home, be with family, reflect on the intentions I set for 2012, and acknowledge everything that happened and what I’m still working towards. One thing I know for sure is that if we don’t take the time to reflect and set our road map for next year, we have no guidance and no way of knowing if we are on track with what we want with our lives. So I wanted to take a few moments to share a little bit of the process I use with you to use to develop your own map.

First, these ain’t no “I want to lose 10 pounds” kind of resolutions. We don’t want to put all our attention into what we don’t want and focus on the negative. Instead, we are going to focus on more of what we do want. When we fill our lives with the things we do want, there is less room for the negative things we don’t want. To do that, it helps to start with taking stock of what we do have. It helps to start with reviewing your intentions from last year, but if you didn’t set any, you can review the year month by month with the key events and look for the blessing and the good things that came out of them.

Once you have reviewed your progress and acknowledged your gifts for the year, you are ready to clean your mental state to prepare for next year. Find some time where you can be alone and uninterrupted. Take out a blank sheet of unlined paper or you use the template I created for you and grab a pen or some colored markers or pencils. You will do this in two stages, first looking at the internal then the external. You will ask yourself some questions, then sit quietly, then jot down some intentions.

First, ask yourself, “What kind of person do I want to be?” “What do I want to give to the world?” “What qualities do I want to grow and develop?” “What qualities do I want to have more of next year?”
Now close your eyes and sit quietly for at least 5 minutes and watch your mind. You are not trying answer the questions directly, but just watch what comes up. Don’t dwell on any one thought. Just note it and let it go.
In the center of your page or in the center circle if you are using the worksheet, write some words that represents these qualities of you that you want to grow and develop next year. Some of these words may be things that showed up in your silence, some may be words that show up right now as you are writing. Both are fine.
Next, you will look at more external things you want to call in and have more of in your life. Ask yourself, “What do I want more of in my life next year? “What will make life more enjoyable?” “What do I want to spend my time doing?” “Who do I want to spend my time with?” “What will make life more meaningful and fulfilling?”
Again, close your eyes and sit quietly for at least 5 minutes and watch your mind. You are not trying answer the questions directly, but just watch what comes up. Don’t dwell on any one thought. Just note it and let it go.
Now, surrounding the center circle containing the things you put on your page earlier, write some words that represent what you want to have more of next year. Again, some of these words may be things that showed up in your silence, some may be words that show up right now as you are writing. Both are fine.
The last step is to connect the dots. We can make movement toward our goals easiest when we take small steps. Too big, and our fear gets the best of us and we don’t move at all. So connect the dots with 1-2 small actions you can (and will) take to move toward the things you want more of in your life. If you are not taking the step, it is too big. Make it smaller until you have something you actually can and will do.
When you have it all complete, step back from your page and look at it from a distance. Does this represent what you want for next year? What will it be like when you have it? Is there anything missing? If so, feel free to go back and add a couple things, but don’t get to carried away. Keep it simple.

This process can take days or it can take 30 minutes. For me, it is usually a combination of both. I start asking myself the questions days in advance and then sit and do the exercise above at one time. The more time and space you can give yourself to do this the better, but as always, find what works for you.

Once you are done, either put this paper in a place where you can see it daily like your bathroom mirror or refrigerator or you can put it in a special place where you will make a point to revisit it 2-4 times next year. At the very least, now you will have some direction to check back in with next year to see if you are on track with what you want in your life, or you are getting distracted and lost. When you check back in throughout the year, you can simply ask yourself, “Is what I’m doing getting me closer to these guideposts or farther away?” Redirect and adjust as necessary Chances are, just by taking the time to do this, it will be like setting your compass bearing and you will end up closer to your target than if you never defined your waypoints to start with.

This process helps you define your map so you know which direction you are heading, but remember, most worthwhile journeys have obstacles, detours, and changes of plans. Most significant changes take time, so it is important to keep your steps small enough to take and acknowledge the progress you are making.

If you use this process, I’d love to hear how it goes for you. Feel free to send me an email with any thoughts, comments, or feedback. Best wishes for an exciting and abundant new year! I hope it is the best year ever!

~chuck